Simon

I was in China Town and there were matching hats...so yeah neighbours cat also got a hat.

Belinda must be the most confusing name for an Afrikaans person because why you keep telling me to phone Linda.

Coloured Family Feuds be so crazy, because what do you mean you and Aunty Sharon don’t speak because she took Ouma’s soup ladle 20 years ago.

It must be so hard for mense not from Cape Town getting directions from Coloureds. What do you mean I must turn right by Spotty Dog auj.

Imagine your daddy’s name is Mark and he granned VW so much the named you Mark too. Yeah this one isn’t it is it 😪

Swear coloured parents had us telling restaurants we were 9 years old until we were in high school just so we could eat off the kids menu.

You ever piggyback a sick day at work. There Lorraine slat her sniffles, let me start my narrative. “Ya but it is mos going around.”

Please support my crayfish tail cycling helmet business.

A Deep Freeze in the garage is a Coloured household's version of generational wealth.

More restaurants should have crayons and colouring books. Why am I not able to colour in a dinosaur and show my taanie more often?

It’s slow horses day finally

The desire to say “sien jy” after every sentence when doing my wedding vows

Imagine knowing the ingredients to Paaper Bites Secret Flavour and having to live with that weight on you and not being able to trust anyone for life.

Honestly make my coffin out of Rooikrans so I make lekker coals when they cremate me.

Ok hear me out limited edition Foie Grassies

Hear me out instead of a Wedding Cake one poesse wedding gatsby that we cut everyone a stukkie of and that’s your dite for the night.

The need to go to a Michelin star restaurant and ask for Perinaise on the side.

Ever since I was child I’ve always wanted to CC my manger on an email for visibility on the issue.

Imagine you have a fight with your Ouma then you hide her Rooibos tea away.

If she says to you “you mos kak boring” it’s a sign of great respect in her culture.