Bill Doty

I didn’t believe in anything astrological or lunar or whatever until I heard that this was the year of the snake.

I watched #Slotherhouse. It was probably the worst movie of '23. I was aware it was a satire but it couldn't even pull that off. Not funny, not scary, and nothing close to entertaining. It was so lazy they didn't bother replacing scenes where people looked into the camera.

Every radio commercial in #boise starts with "Are you fat?" or "Are you ugly?"

From the poster I’d guess this concert is just her farting on a microphone for 2 hours #taylorswifterastourmovie

We made our own Halloween decorations

Hit me up when doctors start offering “Free Estimates”

Had a great time with a great group of people at the premiere of my film TV in Bed and Grauman’s Chinese Theatre

I've never felt close enough to someone to share my confirmation number.

That's offensive - Robots watching us do the robot

My film TV in Bed premieres in 2 weeks in LA. Not saying you all should go... but you all should go.

Training video for my farm

If anyone ever kidnaps me, please grab my phone charger.

For the record, I do own a turn table.

The look a stranger gives you for pooping in public is the same look a Whole Foods cashier gives you when you forget your reusable bag.

If you declaw your cat? What will it do with all its lottery tickets?

How many cousins had to fuck and push out flipper babies until they made a @Jason_Aldean?

My film TV in Bed will be playing at the TCL Chinese Theatre this summer. I'll be there. Details to come.