@christopherashmanactor on instagram. I’M NEVER ON HERE NOW. This is a relic of what once was. 💀
London/Stoke-on-Trent/LA
Joined April 2012
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the year is 2024. there are no more ideas. no more content. there is only reaction. reaction to all that came before. we no longer watch the lion king... only logan paul watching the lion king... 'simba needs gains.' 'i could beat up mufasa.' 'buy my sports drink.'
Christopher Ashman retweeted
doctor: we had to remove your appendix
JRR Tolkien: but that's where I explain why elves hate dwarves
Watch me alongside some excellent actors in an excellent and powerful film! Link below
🎶"Somebody's Getting Married Today"🎶
With wedding season in full swing, don't miss Elizabeth's in #ELIZABETHBLUE!
Available today on @Tubi for FREE (with ads)!
Link here: bit.ly/42Y8tHA
YouTube video titles
in 2008: "how to fix a leaky sink"
in 2023: ''FIVE reasons why woke noob gets DESTROYED by sink's red pill logic"
Sadly I’ll be away from Twitter for the foreseeable future. If u like jokes then they’re all below👇
If you like acting 🎭 my IMDb is: m.imdb.com/name/nm4099940/?r…
If you’d like to buy my fantasy novel 📚 link is here: (UK) amazon.co.uk/Wastelands-Saga… or (US) amazon.com/Wastelands-Saga-B…
Christopher Ashman retweeted
english teacher: describe a tree in as few words as possible.
JRR Tolkien: no
Christopher Ashman retweeted
cow: moo
other cow:
cow: ...
other cow:
cow: m-
other cow: I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME, DANIEL
Christopher Ashman retweeted
me: you’re a good boy
my dog: :)
me: im pretty sad today tho
my dog: :)
me:
my dog: :)
me: :)
Christopher Ashman retweeted
computer: choose a password
me: GameOfThrones
computer: password has too many characters
Christopher Ashman retweeted
[inventing bears]
god: make em dangerous af
angel: um ok
god: cute and cuddly too
angel: maybe put the liquor down
god: and a dump truck ass lol
Christopher Ashman retweeted
pirate: walk the plank
me: ok but i don’t have a leash lol
pirate: *drops sword* dad?
Christopher Ashman retweeted
gf: [holds up an unknown bra]
u care to explain this?
me: ok *proudly* the bra or 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘦 was a term first coined in 1893 whe-
Christopher Ashman retweeted
[job interview]
me: *hands over poorly written resume*
boss: *squinting* ok i’m gonna need u to work with me here
me: wow that was easy