Canada’s favourite clean comedy variety entertainer. Christian, husband, father, juggler, fisher of men. Book lover. Techie, Quirky, Garage Sale Ninja
Cambridge Ontario Canada
Joined April 2009
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I'm performing and speaking locally on Dec 12 in Guelph. Come and join us. Hear the Christmas message. I'm inviting our pizza guy! @CCAguelph
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British Columbia! I'm coming to BC for some shows in February around Salmon Arm, Kamloops and Kelowna. My current shows at schools during the day of Feb 3-5. I'm looking to perform at YOUR EVENT on the evening of Feb 5 or 6. Will save you tons of money on travel since I'm already there! Note: location could be further west (ex: Vancouver) if Feb 6. Send your details/requests to me at comedyinmotion.com/contact-u…
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Bob Cates retweeted
I’ve read the Bible my ENTIRE LIFE… and I just discovered this hidden detail that will blow your mind.
We all know about John the Baptist and how he was a peculiar guy.
Well, in Matthew 3:4 … we get a very interesting description about John the Baptist. We learn that “he wore a garment of *camel’s hair* and a *leather belt* around his waist.”
Now, why would Matthew bother to give us this detail?
Here’s where it gets crazy.
400 years before John the Baptist, the prophet Malachi said that one day, God “would send the prophet *Elijah* before the great and dreadful day of the Lord” (Malachi 4:5)
In other words, before the coming of the Messiah, one like the prophet Elijah would come.
Now fast forward to the New Testament, here comes Matthew saying “oh yeah, John the Baptist… yeah, he was dressed with camel’s hair and a leather belt.”
Why?
Because guess who else in history was dressed this way?
In 2 Kings 1:8, the messengers of King Ahaziah’s describe an encounter with a mysterious prophet… and say “He wore a *garment of hair*, with a *belt of leather* around his waist.” And the king said, “Oh… It is Elijah the Tishbite.”
John is wearing the same thing as Elijah.
Matthew’s point in telling us what John wore… is that John the Baptist is that new “Elijah” preparing the way for the coming of the Messiah. So if John is the new Elijah, and John points to Jesus… then Jesus is the Messiah.
But wait there’s more.
Elijah calls the nation of Israel to repentance.
John the Baptist calls the people of God to repentance.
Both prophets BOLDLY confront the wicked political power of their time.. and BOTH are HATED for it.
Elijah confronts King Ahab, and King Ahab’s wife, Jezabel, wants Elijah dead. (1 Kings 19:2).
John confronts Herod Antipas, and Herod’s wife, Herodias wants John dead. (Mark 6:19).
New days. Same demons. (that’s the Jezabel spirit)
Elijah crosses the Jordan river before he went up to heaven.
When Jesus shows up, John the Baptist is at the… Jordan river. And that’s where Jesus’ public ministry begins.
Elijah's ministry was followed by Elisha, who received a double portion of his spirit (2 Kings 2:9–15) and had a greater ministry.
John's ministry prepared the way for Jesus, who obviously had an *infinitely* greater ministry.
Here’s the point.
John wore Elijah's clothes, carried Elijah's message, and came in Elijah's spirit and power because he was pointing to the Messiah…
And his name is JESUS.
Bob Cates retweeted
One of my friends…He goes, I just can’t believe in a God that would send me to hell just because I don’t believe in Him.
I said, Why is that?
And he goes, Because that’s an ultimatum. Believe in Jesus or go to hell. That sounds manipulative.
I said, Let me ask you something. If a building is already on fire and someone kicks the door open and says, Come out, this is the only way, is that an ultimatum, or is it a rescue?
He said, What do you mean?
I said, Well, you were already going to hell. I was already going to hell. That’s not God being cruel. That’s humanity choosing sin, and that’s justice.
God does not send innocent people to hell. The fact is, there are no innocent people. The standard is perfection. Not better than your neighbor. Not mostly good. Perfection.
I asked him, Have you ever lied? Have you ever lusted? Have you ever hated someone? Have you ever been prideful?
He said, Yeah.
I said, Well, then you’re guilty. I said, To be honest, I have too. We’re all guilty.
And he goes, So you’re telling me it’s believe or just burn?
And I said, No. It’s guilty but rescued. You weren’t standing on neutral ground and God came up and just shoved you toward the fire. You were already falling, and He caught you before you hit the ground.
Jesus didn’t come to threaten you. He came to take your sentence. The Cross was not an ultimatum. It was a substitution.
Justice says the wage of sin is death, but love says, I’ll pay it for you.
A friend asked me, But why make belief the condition?
And I said, Because love can’t be forced. Salvation is not a hostage situation. It’s a gift. If someone pays your debt, you still have to accept it. If you refuse it, the debt doesn’t disappear.
God is not saying, Believe in Me or I’ll torture you. He’s saying, You’re already dying. I made a way. Take it.
Hell is not proof that God is cruel. The Cross is proof that He’s not.
And if you’re wrestling with that same question, it means the door is still open.
"Pastor I didn't like that song in worship today"
"Well it's a good thing we weren't worshipping you"
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Come see us this Friday night in Woodstock ON. instagram.com/p/DecJJymD5P5/
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Incoming Rant: “Why do comedians limit themselves?” or “A rough comedy club start redeemed by @RyanHamilton .” This is a bit long but hopefully interesting. As you know I rarely write stuff like this.
Jane and I had a rare weekend open where we weren’t performing anywhere and as it happened @RyanHamilton was going to be in Toronto.
So I booked some tickets for Jane and Hudson and I to see the show, having enjoyed his clean comedy on various videos over the years.
It was a rough 3-hour drive which was double the normal driving time due to terrible Toronto traffic, as usual. So that put us in a bad mood, but we were eager to get to the show which took us to a comedy club which shall remain nameless all the way down on the Danforth, so a bit of a trek.
We got into the showroom, crammed in like sardines, but it was impressive that they could get 150 people in that small of an area.
The MC comes on to introduce him (or so we thought)… it turns out she was the opening act.
Oh no. I forgot that comedy clubs do opening acts. Yikes…because she was really dirty, crude, and dressed in such a way that would be described as a cross between poor taste and inappropriate. And not that funny (perhaps because of all the previous things I mentioned). (Side note to performers: don’t let something as FIXABLE as how you dress hurt your act. Let it HELP your act!)
We sat there in shock at the vulgarity and X-rated jokes, from someone opening for a clean headliner. I was about to get us and our teenage son out, if it went much longer but thankfully she stopped after maybe 10 mins.
But then another opening act, came on. Doh! In this guy’s case he was a lot funnier, having some genuinely good word play and unique things that did make us laugh…but it was again hand cuffed by more X-rated material and his his case blasphemy too. (Note to comedians: if your going to offend anyone of faith in the audience by saying you’re smarter than God, at least don’t show your ignorance by calling Sunday the “7th day of the week,”
These two acts I rated as X-rated not just for bad language but for speaking of crude topics such as their privates and private things, to use the most base descriptors I can think of.
Thankfully his set was short as well, and to the relief of all Ryan came on and killed for 75 minutes with a totally clean set. No swearing, vulgarity, or Lord’s name in vain, etc. It can be done! (And we know this from seeing other acts too, like @BrianReganComic, @LelandKlassen, and @natebargatze ).
I was really impressed with Ryan’s presentation: doing funny material about things that he had just experienced, IN Toronto and about something that happened in the world just two days earlier (Elon’s flying car). I love watching pros work and seeing just how much character and likability matter. A comic can have technically funny stuff, but if you don’t “like” them as a person I think, it just doesn’t work as well.
Now, some people who read this might think, ah he’s just an old guy who’s no fun, a stick in the mud who knows nothing about comedy.
Well I’m actually a guy who’s made a good living in comedy entertainment full time, for 30 years, and has a Canadian Comedy Award on my shelf. Sure, it’s true I’m not a stand-up comedian, but rather a comedy variety act. And because of that, I’ve always felt rather quite “outside” of the comedy world. It may also be because I’m a Christian and work totally clean, but I’m not sure.
But I envy stand-up comedians for many reasons: They can literally travel to a gig with no checked baggage. They could probably walk on stage with the clothes they flew there in (ex: no costume needed). They don’t have props to lug around and check in and hope they don’t get lost. They don’t have to worry about technology, such as headset mics (most likely don’t even own a mic), music for their show, remote control operation, etc. And they don’t have to spend endless hours practising a physical skill to go WITH their comedy. (I’ve been focused on one new 3-minute routine with a new prop, for 11 months and it’s still not ready. But stand-ups who are talented, can literally sit down and *write* new material and put it in the show the next day. Finally, stand-up comedians can go a lot further than a comedy variety act. There are no “famous” comedy jugglers. Ok, there are a FEW famous comedy magicians, and comedy ventriloquists, but there are MANY famous stand-ups. However, I feel that there are thousands more stand ups since the barrier to entry (so to speak) is low, which means the percentage who “go far” or perhaps better “who make a good living” at it, are much fewer.
Variety acts do have some advantages over stand-ups, though: First we are actually good for all ages, which means we can work in way more places. Even a clean stand-up really wouldn’t entertain much under 14-year-olds. But a comedy magician, comedy juggler or comedy ventriloquist can work for all ages: fairs, cruise ships, corporate, theatres, churches, fundraisers, conventions, you name it.
Another advantage we have is that even if someone does not find our comedy funny, we’re doing extraordinary things that can still entertain them. And finally, as one friend said “at least we get paid more.” Well, I don’t know if that’s true but I like the joke!
So to address my first point: Why do comedians limit themselves so much, by working dirty? That comedy club is one of the few places they can play with that material. But if they worked clean like Ryan Hamilton, they can perform ANYWHERE. I often wonder why so many performers don’t get it. I do understand the temptation as there is one joke that I’m always tempted to say that’s on the edge and do succumb to from time to time. (If I told you you’d laugh at the very pg rated nature of it, not R-rated).
I’ve come to the conclusion that the performers who work dirty, are generally speaking, that way in real life. They speak and think about such things off stage, and so out of the heart it naturally flows, while on stage. So in that sense, it can be quite hard for them to be such a different person on stage.
It’s a REAL challenge for me when acting as a talent agent to find clean acts that can follow me. Because, as it turns out, my definition (and a lot of the audience’s definition) of what is clean is totally different from what they think is clean. Part of this comes in part from my being a Christian.
So for example, I would be aware that using the Lord’s Name in vain (JC or OMG) would not be considered clean, and rather off-putting to say the least. But that has become such a part of daily vernacular that a lot of comics would not register that. But it can be more than that and extend into the appropriateness of a stand-up’s topics.
I performed one year at one event where the 400-person audience was 15% amish/mennonite and so they needed someone clean. I did well and was helping them find an act to follow the next year. I booked someone whom I thought was clean and they thoroughly said they were clean and understood the assignment. (And this is not someone who is known for being dirty by any means). But the client was so upset at how he offended a number of the audience members, they wanted a refund. So, this comes back again to what is clean. All I know is my version of clean is often very different from other performers. But I don’t want to be a total Debbie downer: I do have a some great variety act friends that are top world class pro’s that I know work clean and would trust to be truly clean (and they’re not Christians).
So to finish off, I want to encourage stand-ups to clean up your act for your own personal career success!
I also want to say a big thank you to the stand-ups out there who work clean, and specifically to @ryanhamilton.
It was so great to be at your event live. You saved the night! I would love to spend some time with you someday. Who knows, maybe someday I’ll act like a stand up and be an opening act for you. :-)
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Bob Cates retweeted
MŁODZI TO PATOLOGIA.
1. Wyprodukowaliśmy pokolenie ludzi, którzy mają dostęp do całej wiedzy ludzkości w kieszeni, a jednocześnie nie wiedzą absolutnie nic. Nie znają historii, geografii, ekonomii ani własnego kraju, ale posiadają opinię na KAŻDY temat. Dawniej, żeby być ignorantem, trzeba było przynajmniej nie mieć dostępu do książek. Dzisiaj ignorancja wymaga aktywnego wysiłku.
2. Nie panują nad własnymi emocjami. Wszystko jest „toksyczne”, „traumatyczne”, „problematyczne” albo „triggerujące”. Krytyka staje się atakiem. Dyskomfort staje się cierpieniem. Niepowodzenie staje się traumą. Zamiast nauczyć człowieka radzić sobie z rzeczywistością, nauczono go tworzyć coraz bardziej wyrafinowane słownictwo do opisywania tego, dlaczego rzeczywistość powinna dostosować się do niego.
3. Nie potrafią też docenić tego, co mają. Żyją w jednym z najbezpieczniejszych i najbogatszych okresów historii, otoczeni technologią, o której ich pradziadkowie nie potrafiliby nawet fantazjować, a zachowują się tak, jakby zostali zesłani do kopalni soli w XIV wieku. Ciepłe mieszkanie, pełna lodówka, smartfon, wakacje, streaming, dostawa jedzenia pod drzwi — i permanentne poczucie krzywdy.
4. Są źle wychowani. Nie dlatego, że nie znają właściwego widelca do ryby. Gorzej: nie rozumieją, że przestrzeń publiczna należy również do innych ludzi. Głośnik w autobusie, hulajnoga między pieszymi, telefon przy stole, darcie mordy w miejscu publicznym. Świat jest sceną, oni są głównymi bohaterami, a reszta społeczeństwa ma zejść z kadru.
5. Nie potrafią czekać. Nie potrafią się nudzić. Nie potrafią przez pięć minut siedzieć bez bodźca. Telefon musi być sprawdzony podczas jedzenia, rozmowy, spaceru, pracy i kiedyś prawdopodobnie własnego pogrzebu. Pokolenie z największym dostępem do informacji w historii wytrenowało sobie zdolność koncentracji złotej rybki na amfetaminie.
6. Nie potrafią niczego naprawić. Nie potrafią niczego zbudować. Część nie potrafi ugotować pięciu normalnych obiadów, przyszyć guzika, odetkać odpływu ani zorganizować własnego dnia bez aplikacji. Za to doskonale wiedzą, jak powinno zostać zreorganizowane całe społeczeństwo.
7. Nie mają cierpliwości do kompetencji. Chcą rezultatów bez praktyki, pozycji bez hierarchii, pieniędzy bez doświadczenia i autorytetu bez osiągnięć. Jeśli ktoś robił coś przez dwadzieścia lat, to nie jest ekspertem. Jest „gatekeeperem”.
8. Nie rozumieją pieniędzy. Subskrypcja tu, dostawa tam, kawa za 25 zł, telefon na raty, pięć aplikacji pobierających co miesiąc pieniądze z konta — a potem wielkie odkrycie ekonomiczne: NIE DA SIĘ OSZCZĘDZAĆ.
9. Nie mają stosunku do przeszłości, bo przeszłość zaczyna się dla nich mniej więcej w 2016 roku. Wszystko, co było wcześniej, jest albo niezrozumiałe, albo podejrzane moralnie. Człowiek bez pamięci historycznej patrzy więc na instytucje istniejące od stuleci i po piętnastu sekundach namysłu stwierdza, że właśnie odkrył, jak je naprawić.
10. Nie żyją nawet w tej samej rzeczywistości. Algorytm daje każdemu prywatny wszechświat, prywatne fakty, prywatne autorytety, prywatne oburzenie i prywatną epidemię problemu, o którym normalny człowiek nawet nie słyszał. Potem wychodzą z internetu i są zdziwieni, że społeczeństwo nie przeczytało tego samego feedu.
Najbardziej imponujące jest jednak połączenie wszystkich tych cech.
Nigdy wcześniej człowiek nie mógł wiedzieć tak mało, umieć tak niewiele, kontrolować się tak słabo i jednocześnie posiadać tak niewzruszonego przekonania, że to właśnie ON powinien pouczyć wszystkich poprzednich ludzi, jak należało urządzić świat.
Bob Cates retweeted
CBC just spent 5 minutes on how horrible it is that Trump is banning CNN, MSNow, Political all far far left news agencies from the White House but they have no problem with the Liberals blocking Rebel News, True North, Western Standard and The Counter Signal from theirs.
Bob Cates retweeted
You know you're loved when
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
The video in this post is AI-generated, not real footage.
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The Quakers say, “Of your unspoken words, you are the master; of your spoken words, the servant; of your written words, the slave.”
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Bob Cates retweeted
This is one of the greatest lines by Tolkien. Filled with profound wisdom and reality for our everyday lives. I think about it often.
“Yet it is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.”
Bob Cates retweeted
It's incredible what's happening in Canada
Canadians are facing economics stress like never before right across the board as inflation skyrockets, the country is overwhelmed with mass immigration and everywhere there is catastrophic collapse politically, socially and economically
The government has entered into a trade war with biggest trading partner and tells Canadians we need to stand up to the big bully as the implications are massive in the additional costs that will add to the Canadian family this year
Yet somehow Canadians are cheering on are corrupt government and a prime minister who's extracting hundreds of billions for his own person benefit from taxpayers and pension funds
I do not believe the level of collapse that we are at can be recovered from.
Yet Canadians are cheering on our government with its misguided policies of ...
Carbon tax
Mass immigration
Diversity is our strength Elbows up
It's Madness
I'll be headlining at the Port Elgin Pumpkinfest on Oct. 3. No I'm not going to juggle pumpkins! pumpkinfest.org/attractions/…
@PEPfest
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