As a result of the illegal wars waged by Trump, Netanyahu & Putin, the UK Govt has told us to be prepared by stocking up on essentials. Here are mine…plus chocolate, books, vino & vegemite, obvs. What are yours? For a laugh, why not add some of my novels like #TheSisterhoodRules

The Catherine Hamlin Foundation has cured 82,000 Ethiopian women of fistula. This devastating childbirth injury leaves women incontinent & shunned. The op involves only 2 stitches; a tiny stitch in time with huge results. Support #ProjectZero to provide midwifery & simple surgery

Hooray! Optimism is not an eye disease! Serbian students have taught Vučić a lesson; his government failed the election test. And the rain forest is safe after Lula’s victory in Brazil. For once we’re not reading the news between clenched & trembling fingers. Midterm wins next.

Let’s stay optimistic. (It’s either that or start drinking at breakfast.) In the next week, Bolsonaro could lose in Brazil, Netanyahu could lose in Israel & the Republicans could lose the House and Senate…Otherwise, we’d better start booking those Russian lessons. Oy, nyet!😱

Bookended by brilliant Brians. Celebrating with our favourite brainiac after Brian Cox’s phenomenal 02 Emergence show. Here’s a cosmic conundrum: how does this genius star-gazer remain so down to earth? My lovely astrophysicist pal see’s everything through the humble telescope.

All trains south cancelled due to the storm - so it’s a case of social intercourse interruptus. Sorry not to enjoy a creative & conversational consummation with you in Dorchester tonight. So frustrating! @DorchLitFest

I thought you had to go to Cambridge to study art history & languages, be secretly gay, get recruited by MI5, then caught in a honey trap & blackmailed before you could become a Russian agent?

Useful literary terms; ‘Anonymous’ is a married author writing about sexual infidelity & double negatives are a complete no no. Why am I telling you this? In a pathetic attempt to grab the attention of Dorchester readers & remind you to come along to my lit fest gig this Fri 6pm.

Russell Brand’s courtroom artist has clearly drawn her own conclusion; a very sketchy character, indeed. #RussellBrand

Yesterday we saw two sides of masculinity. MP Helen Haines lost a leg after being rammed by an angry man. Ricky Jefferies then disarmed the knife-carrying driver. One man brought violence; the other courage. Forget the toxic manosphere. Real strength is about making people safer.

Darling daughter Georgie’s #ReuniteTheParthenon protest at the British museum ball seems to have amused our very own historic treasure, Mick Jagger. The marbles belong together, reunited at the Acropolis. Anyone who thinks otherwise, well, they really have lost their marbles.

So chuffed that "Puberty Blues" has been voted by the public as one of Australia's top 100 books. As we surfy girls would say "That's unrool and deadset perf! I'm rooly stoked!"

The Write Stuff. Celebrating Aussie authors at the inaugural Oz Lit festival at Foyles, London with Australian High Commissioner Jay Weatherill. Yes I’m wearing kangaroo earrings but it’s all these brilliant books by Aussie authors putting a bounce in my step #TheSisterhoodRules

Illegally Blonde... Trump's theme song? Putin on the Ritz. (Visual via @OccupyDemocrats )

Trump should leave his brain to medical science as it’s clearly never been used. All power to Ukraine.

Clearly the bar to work for Trump is way too low. If only America would bar Don the Con & his incompetent cronies from the Whitehouse. (Thx for the image @nostawecnarret70 ) #KatieZacharia

My motto? Dance like nobody’s watching. And if they are, give a masterclass in not giving a damn! Busting out my quintessential Mum Dancing Manoeuvres, circa 1990, with Olympic champions Jenny Stoute & Michelle Griffith-Robinson & comic Judi Love at @hellomag Power List party.

Trump’s latest press secretary Katie Zacharia has now admitted to failing the bar exam. Clearly she’s too young to get in; mentally anyway. Trump’s whole team need to grow an extra brain cell as the one they share must be getting so lonely up there. #KatieZacharia

Gyles Brandreth has written a book about how to live to 100. But his Wikipedia entry says he died aged 72. “Clearly the book’s ghost written,” I told Cheltenham Lit Fest audience, then offered him the kiss of life. If you want to die laughing, read our books. #TheSisterhoodRules.

Statistically birthdays are good for you; those who have the most, live the longest...But just because we can’t help getting older, we don’t have to get old. Sharing top tips on ageing disgracefully at the Cheltenham Lit Fest today made Gyles, Prue, Tim & I feel younger than ever