National Lampoon Studios

Mogged is the new get Punked?

Make sure your Jelly of the Month memberships are current and you've already spent your holiday bonuses. Check the circuit breakers too! Don't want too much of a load on them...

Going woke means going broke. SouthPark special on Disney was really something else. Satire was spot on.

In honor of our favorite equestrian day of the year, we here at National Lampoon have the following to share with you all. #NationalLampoon #PoisonPill #web3 #KyDerby

National Lampoon proudly presents the following suggestions to the @KentuckyDerby for future races. Jockeys, even though half the size of full grown humans, have twice the heart to get on the back of a 1,000 lb+ beast with no seatbelt. #NationalLampoon #PoisonPill #web3 #KyDerby

Pepe's Presidential Hop: National Lampoon Takes on the Internet's Favorite Frog (Stage lights come up as [redacted] walks on stage, wearing a trucker hat and a flannel shirt) [redacted]: So y'all ever heard of this frog, man? Pepe the frog? This little green dude, been hoppin' around the internet like he's in a dang swamp or somethin', man. (Laughs) [redacted]: I mean, this frog's been through it all, ya know? Started out as a little cartoon character, just chillin', havin' a good time. Next thing you know, he's caught up in all sorts of drama, like a Kardashian, but with scales and a tongue that could snatch a fly from mid-air, brother. (Laughs) [redacted]: But, you know what's wild, man? Pepe don't care. That's right, he just keeps on hoppin'—from one meme to another. He's like the Forrest Gump of the internet, man! If Forrest Gump was a frog, and instead of runnin', he was hoppin'. Hoppin' like his life depended on it! (Laughs) [redacted]: And you gotta wonder, what's goin' through that frog's mind, right? I mean, he's been a symbol for all these different groups, people throwin' him around like he's some kinda amphibian football. Maybe Pepe's just sittin' there thinkin', "Hey man, I just wanted to be a frog. I didn't sign up for all this political mess." (Laughs) [redacted]: I mean, can you imagine Pepe the frog runnin' for president or somethin'? "Vote Pepe, man, he'll make America hop again!" Dang, I think I'd vote for him, just to see what happens, ya know? (Laughs) [redacted]: Well, anyway, man, remember, if you see Pepe the frog out there on the internet, just give him a little nod, let him know it's all good. We're all just tryin' to hop through life, gang-gang. (Crowd cheers, [redacted] waves and exits the stage) $pepe

@wsbmod @zjzWSB @is_unpopular

So, you've heard about these meme coins, right? It's like playing the lottery, but instead of wasting money on tickets, you're investing in digital punchlines! 🤑🎰💸 *Checks notes* Breaking news: Gensler & Pepe struck it rich this week! 🤯⚡️ We contacted the esteemed Mr. Gensler for his thoughts: "Well, some peculiar transactions occurred in a wallet I may or may not control." 😏🔒💼

How high have gas fees been lately? #NationalLampoon #PoisonPill #GasPrices

🏀In preparation for tonight’s big championship match, we thought we’d let the ladies behind the bounceball hero boys do the talking: we had a grandmother from each team write tonight’s briefs on the game. Cybil is a Husky Grandmother and this was her letter. To Whom It May Concern About Those SDSU Players: I was so excited when I heard that my grandchild was on the University of Connecticut team that made it to the Final Floor Tournament this year! I'm sure all the boys on the other team are fine upstanding student athletes, but I've heard some concerning things about their character at my weekly bridge games. Now I'm not saying they're not the type of boys you want your children associating with, but they might have been paying more attention to that devil weed than their lectures. I bet they didn't listen to their parents, either, if they had any. I'm sure they run around with loose girls, too. God knows what they get up to after the streetlights come on! I heard a girl that went to SDSU once got pregnant. Not married either, if you'll believe it. Why did it take so long for California to become a state? By the time they did, Connecticut had been a state for 62 years. That’s not even the average age of our bridge club. They probably eat their main course with their salad fork, or even worse, with their hands out of a paper bag. I'm glad they don't get paid. You know those SDSU students can't manage money anyway. I heard most of them are in school on LOANS! I bet the poor dears had to wear the same pair of sneakers for the whole tournament. Your crocheting is more ghastly than putting milk in before your tea! You mongrel! I am sure they use BINGO daubers and not real quarters when they’re at the BINGO hall on Tuesday nights. Wishing you boys the best of luck tonight. Hope you win the match. Love, Nana For the Aztecs, we had Dolores write us in a letter. Dear Yukon fans, I feel sorry for all those poor Yukon boys who didn't get into their first choice school. Just remember- shoot for the stars; If you miss, you can always go to Yukon. The last time they had riots at Yukon it was because the clam chowder wasn't lumpy enough. The only thing worse than being a Yukon fan is being a Yukon girlfriend, because these are the people who think vanilla sex is too spicy. Accidentally ate a weed brownie once and realized their parents had to die before they get the inheritance. It must be hard having the winter blues for eight months out of the year. Sunshine is good for you, you know. I hope they win otherwise they'll let down their ancestors who came over on the Mayflower. They have a long tradition of oppression and land theft to uphold. You know, with it being tax time, I know all their money will be safe in those fancy offshore accounts and 503(c) tax shelters. Good for them! Don’t forget about Grams. Good luck tonight young boys. Xoxo, -Grams #Bounceball #MarchMadness #PoisonPill #NationalLampoon #GoAztecs #Made4March #NCAA #Grandmothers @nationallampoon

With 4 campus visits in 5 days, our intrepid field reporter submitted the following school profiles, along with $23,657 in suspect expenses. Sadly, NL does not cover elective plastic surgery, name changes, or personal loans from guys named Vin the Shark #Bounceball #MarchMadness

The Hurricanes face a particular dilemma in this matchup because if they take down the easily toppled Texas power grid then the anal electrocution slaughtering guns go down too. We think the Longhorns will try to turn up the heat early but end up perfectly medium rare.#Bounceball

It's a classic battle of natives vs religion in this Erogenous Eight matchup. As long as the SDSU Aztecs don't take any sus looking blankets from the Creighton boys they should be able to get two birds stoned at once and pull out the still beating heart of this win. #Bounceball

After three exciting rounds of bounceball we have good ol’ fashioned dog fight on our hands. Typically, huskies would obliterate bulldogs, but these ‘Zags come equipped with filed claws, armor plating, and enough drool to drown a hippo. Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who? Who?

After soaring high into the Envious Eight, the FL ATL Hooters have their talons full as they face off against the Wildcats of Manhattan. Will the Big Apple of the Midwest prevail over the woke birds of America’s penis? We’ll find out tonight! #Bounceball #MarchMadness #PoisonPill

The following reports were filed from our break room, which has been taken over by our newest employee, Marco, along with his pack of rabid guard dogs. He swears the knives are just for show, unless we don't have his money. #Bounceball #MarchMadness #PoisonPill #NationalLampoon

We're unsure if two weeks of constant reporting is making our correspondents better reporters or driving them slowly insane. Anyway, these briefs were dropped off by a very sketchy looking individual this morning: #Bounceball #MarchMadness #PoisonPill #NationalLampoon