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Ainny

@10tequilaShots

‘Finding yourself’ consist of peeling off years of social conditioning to find a self as it existed during childhood, unmarked.

 United States
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets27.3K
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  • Followers4.5K
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Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)Photo by Ainny (@10tequilaShots)
Don’t come second to anyone ever guys. There’s no medal.
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When someone's happy we don't wish them the worst you damn fools. We're happy for them.
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At the sound of every "you're my only one" there's a cheated on person out there crying of laughter.
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NURSE: What's your blood type? ME: Oh, I'm not picky. I'll drink any kind. NURSE: What? ME: What?
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ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first M: The penguin pooped in the tub W: We don't own a- M: *smiling* And now the good news
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WIFE: He treats our marriage like it's a talk show THERAPIST: Is this true? ME: *turns and winks at camera* We'll find out after the break
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[spelling bee] Your word is 'condescending' "Can you use it in a sentence?" Of course I can. Can YOU?
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"DADDY THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED" [me opening bedroom window] Wife: What are you doing? Me: *climbing out* ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?
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INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" ME: *sweating profusely* Yeah why, do any ghosts work here?
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WIFE: Stop spending money on stupid stuff ME: Okay [later] WIFE: What the hell? [dog walks by in a tuxedo] ME: He's getting married, Karen
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[buying a used car] SALESMAN: What if I told you this vehicle is the Batmobile? WIFE: We're not stupid. ME: Hold on Karen, let him finish.
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SOCIETY: Go to school, get a good job, get married. ME: Will I be happy? SOCIETY: Oh heavens no, lol.
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