Caitlin Teasdale

I like my beer like I like my humor: full of wit.

This just in: America's new colors just dropped: blue, blue, and more blue. Red is out, white is out.

Is Princess Bride (the movie) NOT in the same universe as Columbo? Discuss.

The homosexual urge to dye your hair during pride month ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜

My prediction for 2025: @orvillepeck & @ChappellRoan do a Collab

In another life, perhaps during an alternate ADHD hobby fixation, I could have been a miniaturist. Watching #bestinminiature and gleefully exclaiming "it's so small!" every 5 min.

TIL: when you break your leg pretty nastily on the beach, they cut you out of your swimsuit bottoms. RIP my beautiful Forest Ink lace up shorts.

Can we have a @letterboxd but for TV shows?

Listen, I don't know who of the 1% needs to hear this, but there are at least 2 groups of our society who are chronically underpaid and SHOULD UNIONIZE (because how the f*** would you survive without them) and that is teachers and chefs. LOOK. IT. UP.

Attn bathroom designers everywhere: if you don't put a purse/coat hook in your stalls, you will not get a good Yelp rating from me

Things I'll miss about Twitter: Tweeting complaints at corporations, drunk tweeting the world, parasocial entanglements, getting added to pyramid scheme mass DMs out of the blue, @Skittles

Hot take: Miss Piggy is Problematic and Kermit can Do Better.

Inside everyone there are 2 wolves: Ryan & Shane. @watcher

The difference between upper class and middle class is: Middle class will eat the garnishes on their fancy cocktail.

The motto of Oktoberfest: take a pitcher, it'll last longer

Also... Babies often just touch people without realizing. And... Have you ever locked eyes with a baby? Same feeling as locking eyes with a drunk at a bar: you are both compelled to smile, and trapped by their gaze.

Hot take: babies are just miniature drunk people. They're like "I can barely walk" and also "what is this thing I have just seen, I can't look away, it intrigues and disturbs me" and that's drunk p in a nutshell, friends. Also... I've seen both throw up a lot.

The Count is a vampire in Sesame Street because vampires have to count grains of rice. #justfolklorethings

Visitor of the Future is now currently at the top of my ballot for #FantasticFest2022 Equal parts beautiful sets/effects/art direction, emotional core, and funny quips.

Everyone should watch #infinitytrainhbomax and #CloseEnough but now nobody can. Thanks a lot @hbomax for ruining TV.

What Texas got from Mexico: an appreciation of queso as an art form, a love of spice, and an addiction to margaritas. What Texas DIDN'T get from Mexico: how to properly pronounce Spanish words, like "manor," "Guadalupe," and "San JAC into."