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In Wimpy Land, a man said "Zoo Wee Mama" to me as a greeting. Later that same day, the same man said "Zoo Wee Mama" as a goodbye. I asked a woman at the store what it means. She said, "Zoo Wee Mama." I asked what it means. She said, "It means Zoo Wee Mama, sugar." So I began collecting evidence. I kept a list. I am not embarrassed about the list. I have now heard "Zoo Wee Mama" used as: hello. Goodbye. Thank you. I am sorry. Congratulations. That is unfortunate. I agree. I disagree. And once, in a hardware store, as a complete set of instructions for installing a ceiling fan. I heard it said at a funeral. It was appropriate. It was the most appropriate thing anyone said that day. I began using it. Carefully at first, the way a man handles a borrowed sword. I said it to a cashier. She said it back. I said it to a police officer who had stopped me for a broken taillight. He looked at me for a long moment. He looked at my face. He looked at my taillight. Then he said it back, and nodded once, and did not write the ticket. I wish to be extremely clear that I am not claiming those two events are related. I am also not claiming they are unrelated. A man at a gas station heard my accent and asked where I was from. I told him America. He said, "Zoo Wee Mama." He meant welcome. I knew he meant welcome. There was no ambiguity at all. I have been in Wimpy Land eleven days. I have one word. It has been enough for everything. I have started saying it in other states. It does not work in other states. I said it in a warehouse store in North Carolina. One man turned around. He was from Wimpy Land. He said it back. We did not speak after that. We did not have to. I say it anyway.