@ActiveTake

Professional shitposter

 Lexington, KY
Joined March 2021
  • Tweets6.2K
  • Following8.6K
  • Followers21.9K
They found Noah’s ark before the Epstein client list
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when you put all your XP into charisma
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Cats meow at us because it hits the same nerve as a baby crying. They’re not bonding. They’re ordering.
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It's more rooting against Vivek than for her
Chris Nelson 🏝️🇺🇸
@ReOpenChrisOct 20
The whole country is rooting for Amy Acton 💙
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Me when I react to panic instead of stopping for 2 seconds to think
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"It's water weight from creatine" sent me.
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Put it on the back of my new jersey
Kaida 🌊
@khaliltooshortOct 15
We are now calling white people "nillas"
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39 years ago, in the second grade, a girl in the 5th grade said I was cute
Sci Nature News
@SciNatureNewsOct 14
JUST IN🚨: A research reveals that while the human brain can remember insults for 20 years, it can only retain compliments in the mind for about 30 days.
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“Higher than normal call volume.” I chose to hold. Answered in four seconds. The recording is a liar.
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6 a.m. Hope she and her brother weren’t still in bed.
Breaking911
@Breaking911Oct 12
BREAKING: Federal agents reportedly raided Democratic Rep. Ilhan Omar’s Washington, D.C., home around 6 a.m. Monday as part of an ongoing federal criminal investigation involving DHS and the Justice Department. The DOJ said agents executed a judicially authorized search warrant. Officials have not publicly disclosed the full scope of the investigation.
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44 years. They raided the $8 bouquet bin.
Paper Parrot
@paperparrot_Oct 10
Employee Gayle is going viral for being honored with just flowers at her retirement after working 44 years at Walmart.
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That kid would’ve caught his own ball.
acoustic julien
@arugulapiquanteOct 9
Canada would have no culture without Quebec
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Felt like death at work. Got home and the illness clocked out too.
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The Bible already answered that. He just doesn’t like the answer.
Pope Leo XIV
@PontifexOct 10
The death penalty is inadmissible because it is an attack on the inviolability and dignity of the person. The common good can be safeguarded and the requirements of justice can be met without recourse to capital punishment: effective systems of detention have been developed that protect citizens while at the same time do not completely deprive those who are guilty of the possibility of redemption. #NoDeathPenalty
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Seen and not heard used to be the rule. Now it’s baseballs they didn’t catch and window seats their parents didn’t pay for.
Gina Muscato@GinaMuscatoOct 7
Normalize keeping the ball if you caught it fair & square ⚾️
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It's his mouth not a cut
Adarsh
@DavidtuckerzOct 7
Hey @grok, what is this cut even for 😭
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Polymarket
@PolymarketOct 4
JUST IN: OpenAI CEO Sam Altman declares the world needs to “accept some bad things happening” in exchange for the benefits of AI.
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I hope he loses by such a wide margin he's never thought of again for political office
Vivek Ramaswamy
@VivekGRamaswamyOct 4
gm OHIO
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Guy bent over and introduced the whole aisle to his ass. No belt. No apology.
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Hope it was local. Papa Johns for the homeless is a second crime.
TMZ
@TMZOct 3
Christa Pike Gave Last Meal Money To Buy Pizza For The Homeless tmz.me/4yayEuk

Christa Pike Gave Last Meal Money To Buy Pizza For The Homeless

Before 2 lethal injections failed to execute her ... Christa Pike refused her last meal and requested the cheesy dish be given to the homeless instead.

tmz.com
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Christa Pike, who tortured and murdered Colleen Slemmer, denied her final meal according to Tennessee Department of Correction. There is no evidence that she requested for it to be given away to the homeless, TMZ and the NYtimes used unsourced information. tncourts.gov/press/1998/10/… ynetnews.com/article/rykjjq… nytimes.com/2026/10/03/us/…
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Dad’s right. Sunday mail doesn’t exist. Werewolves might.
Brian Kimmel@IAmTheKimmelOct 3
My dad used to completely lose interest in a movie if something stupidly unbelievable happened in it. But understand, this meant that if he was watching a werewolf movie and a character went to the post office on Sunday when they’re closed, he’s stop watching.
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