Chilling out max and relaxing all cool Professor of Memeology at Rick and Morty Technical Institute Bink/Spagoni pronouns
Joined January 2020
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Is it a good sign when your Instagram algorithm starts showing you a bunch of reels about not killing yourself?
Asking for a friend.
Pretty cool that half of my replies on here now fail to send.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with Elon's love of hiring Indians.
Hopped up over the edge of my pickup to grab something out of the bed, felt something in my chest pop, and now it hurts to breathe.
Aging is awesome.
Can we stop with this meme where someone posts a video of a cat doing something cute or whatever and captions it something like "the left has no answer for this"?
It's not funny and I'm sick of seeing it.
Took a girl to the MGK show in Washington last night. Bought her a small strawberry lemonade with vodka served in a plastic mason jar, and myself a tallboy of Boneyard IPA.
It was $55.
I hadn't been to a big concert in a long time, and forgot that's why you smuggle booze in.
*Me traveling back in time to 2003 to give my younger self a message*
"One day the winner of America's Next Top Model will like your tweet about Muslims being rapists."
Younger me: "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm trying to jack off to America's Next Top Model."
Hey, Twitter algorithm, can you go back to showing me pictures of Elle Fanning's ass instead of pictures of British onion and cheese sandwiches?
Thanks.
>dude's name is "DL"
>being "on the DL" is common black slang for being secretly gay
>do an interview with Don Lemon who's gay, and who's initials are DL
The simulation really knocked it out of the park with this one.
Ordered a pizza from a local joint last week. Since then every other ad I get on Instagram is for this pizza place. Just got a notification on IG asking me to rate my experience with the restaurant.
Fuck's sake, leave me alone. I already bought the fucking pizza.
>hooking up with a girl
>ask her if she wants to get a little weird
>she seems intrigued and says yes
>put on my highly curated playlist of Weird Al's original songs. No parodies
>suddenly she has to leave because she "has to get up for work"
I don't get women, man...
Whoever told actors that they should smack their lips and chew with their mouths open while eating in scenes so the audience DEFINITELY knows they are in fact eating something should be shot in the street.