Annie G

If you're here because I like both Cardi B and words like "thusly", you should know that aside from dumbass thoughts like that I'm like 90% dogs and dog training. I live and breathe that shit. Hit me up for your dog training needs.

The world does not need any further bloviating on the folly of the rich in the Great Gatsby but I would genuinely like to read the rest of this.

Being a dog trainer at a public park full of the “Don’t worry he’s friendly!” people is a small personal hell.

The country I'm from fought a whole ass war so I DON'T have to give a shit about what happens to the British Royal Family

The grilled cheese sammich + affordable grocery store cab sav is the working man’s cheese and wine pairing

Damn I didn't know Nashville Hot Chicken was fancy or exotic. It IS, however, good as hell.

It will never cease to bother me that Robert Smith's makeup is done like this. TAKE SOME PRIDE IN YOUR LIPSTICK APPLICATION, ROBERT

Whenever someone asks me what it looks like when people pretend to be dumber than they are because they think it's adorable I'm just going to refer them to this tweet thread.

Someone explain to me why the Venmo is even a thing to begin with

Heeeeell yeah

One truck for sale. No accidents Minor stains in the driver's seat. No lowball offers, I know what I've got.

Growth is realizing that while Rafael is sexy in an I can fix him way, Leonardo is the ninja turtle that you marry

Boy howdy they should not let me discover new songs because I will beat them into the ground.

Today I put on a lip gloss for the first time in 15 years and I've gotta say, it feels like coming home.

"THERE he is!"

I don’t know what stage of adulthood or inner peace or whatever this is, but my new background music is the “Calming Classical” music on Spotify and it really sets a mood.

Nobody talks about how healing it is to throw away all the expired stuff from the fridge

I dearly wish strangers would entirely learn to stop asking to pet dogs. This is a big American dogs are often overexcited, unfocused, poorly trained and all over the place. How are they supposed to calm down and pay attention if people are constantly interrupting their lives

Dear Weather Channel website, along with every other one that won't load if you have an adblocker: we wouldn't do that if your website weren't a nigh-on unusable pile of ads

My dog has BIG FEELS about bedtime and he will come over and HUFF at me until I get up and go to bed.

Being part-time crippled blows because some days I am CRUSHING IT and some days like today, I can barely move from the joint pain and it's just so fucking frustrating.