Flanjo

Jesus on a bastard bike

This trend for solo dating… ‘I’m taking myself on a date for a coffee’ - oh do be brief. You mean yerroffout #solodating my arse

I hate household bleach incidents.

The Congo basin expedition

My current spouse is reciting a Scottish poem, I’ve told him I’m listening but I’ve actually come to bed. He’s on about verse 5.

I’m an hour late to bed this evening, I hope it’s not habit forming.

Where’s @TomFoxTom when you need him?

The newest thing to get on my tits… ‘What colourways do you like?’ Do you mean what colour do I like? See also ‘switch this out’ K’off

Hope you’re all enjoying your holidays. We’re paying for kid 2’s upcoming nuptials and probably won’t holiday again. Kids are right twats

#rivals2 is a pile of old wank

Anyone else see it?

My current spouse just said ‘apparatus’ but American like ‘appararrrtus’ Get bent

I have a bit of a thing for Matthew Tebbutt. I know he’s gone a bit spicy conker, but on this occasion it’s fine.

I did Christmas Day yesterjour and today is Boxing Day … except it’s not because I have to do it twice more.

Shit’s getting serious

If only I could find a pack of cards round here.

The scaffolders and roofers are here, it’s starting . #housebuildpartdeux

#Glastonbury2025 I’m glad to be watching it at home.. but it’s absolutely sensational

#jarviscocker is bloody nailing this

Before and after #OhHector

No music Stu the painter is still here, this is week 4. We’re listening to smooth radio as a compromise, but he’s still whistling his own tune.