The 40-Year-Old Version

i swear to god 😭😭😭

your coworkers don’t know ball. stop trying to talk ball with your coworkers.

sike.

49ers fans: “get us garrett wilson or devonta smith!” john lynch, probably: “here is keenan allen or quentin johnston.”

that’s an oddly specific warning, anthropic.

what’s the science behind those who can tune people and noises out, even when they’re being spoken to, and those who can’t, even when they’re not being spoken to? i hear everything, i notice everything, i process everything, even if i’m distracted or focused on something else.

when you call out “sick”

when 13 gets his MVP, lombardi, SBMVP, and statue at levi’s, i’m gonna put his 30-for-30 on DVD and pass it down as a generational family heirloom

i mean when you really boil it all down there’s only two reasons to keep living. my family, and watching brock purdy play football.

prayers up for raoni barcelos. that did not look good or normal at all. hope we get good news on him.

lioness s3 ending and mobland s2 beginning

hate when i order something i’m really looking forward to and the tracking number comes back as some bullshit like on trac or DHL

DC: “one time, joe, i had tacos here in LA that were so good i must have ate about 30 of em! i’m telling you man they were so good! aye you can’t get that in louisiana.” rogan: “oh LA has incredible mexican food.” anik: “another calf kick lands for joshua van.”

still slapping that first 6LACK tape on nighttime drives around town

you want approval from me for something at work? ask me on a friday at 4:55 i’ll give you whatever you want. i’ll give you the nuclear codes idgaf i’m leaving at 5 and this place doesn’t exist on my days off.

how and why the fuck did i accidentally become important at yet another job

count your days, baker. count your FUCKING days.

if you’re ever feeling down about yourself, just remember that you and the great myles garrett had the exact same stat line in week 1 of the 2026 NFL season

the best part about working in corporate is how receptive and adaptable leadership is to good ideas that aren’t their own. and how willing they are to implement new ideas, putting efficiency and effectiveness above optics and people’s feelings. jk.