When I was single, I learned how the most valuable relationship works. I would offer advice that some married people told me was excellent “marriage advice,” even though I never thought of it that way, as I had no experience being married, ...or so I thought. A few decades later I heard the same core principles of my life taught by a renowned Christian marriage counselor. The reasons Christian marriages suffer when they should not are not primarily a failure of a wife submitting to her husband or the husband's failure to love His wife as Christ loves the church, but a failure of either in their submission to the God. We—the church—are indeed the bride of Christ. Even as a single man or woman, we must learn to submit to and trust Jesus. We pray, listen, wait, and trust that God never makes a mistake. We have access to that “perfect marriage” whether or not we marry. And as offputting it may sound to men, we are wives of our Lord Jesus, not just husbands, and Jesus is our example of how to be the husband that He is to us. Those with long, happy marriages use the God-given strengths men and women bring together within this hallowed union. Yet while a genuine "chain of command" exists, our Lord has to held above all. When the three become one, we experience what these verses from Ecclesiastes reinforce. "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up! Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one may be overpowered, two can resist. Moreover, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken". - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Practical problems in marriage have much less to do with whether a wife submits or a husband loves as Scripture directs. It matters most whether they are submitting to God. If that vertical submission is missing, the horizontal roles of Ephesians 5 will not function as intended. We are sinners saved by grace, carrying selfishness, but selfishness must be kept in check, whether married or single. Even so, Men and women have different strengths and needs by design. Love requires us to suffer for what we know our spouse needs. Husbands are expected to endure more suffering than the wife, as husbands are commanded to love the wife as Jesus loves His church, even laying down his life for her. Not merely his last breath, but his own desires and priorities, if that is indeed best for her. So indeed Scripture places the heavier weight of sacrificial initiative on the husband. A good wife communicates the needs of the family, including her own to her husband. A good husband provides for her and what she says they need—even when it costs him, but he also weighs and prays to God for wisdom and resolve to make the best decision for his family. In almost every case a request or suggestion from the wife will be essential to a husband making better decisions for the family. “Wives, submit…” opererates perfectly inside mutual submission to our Lord Jesus. Women have a burden to respect their husband, but the LOVE husbands are commanded to provide to their wives carry all of these attributes; Love is patient (it suffers long), Love is kind (does what is best for the other). It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud. It is not rude, It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs It does not delight in evil It rejoices with the truth It always protects, It always trusts, It always hopes, It always perseveres. Ultimately, submitting to our Lord enables the single or the married couple to endure and secure every relationship that matters.