@AverageSizeAndy

Opinions are my own. Never take me serious. Not here for politics. I like jokes. Part-time underwear model. Operation Egg Salad Veteran. PHD in Food Science.

 Upstate, NY
Joined February 2011
  • Tweets91.6K
  • Following3.4K
  • Followers3.7K
11.2KMedia
What did I learn? Nothing, because I’m an idiot. I really hope no one takes this serious. 😂
Dominie 🇺🇸
@price_dominieAug 18
What did I learn? A dress is easier than an insulated rain poncho. (If you’re going to do dumb stuff, be safe, do it without ammo)
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Name a canceled TV show that deserved at least one more season: Kingdom
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Everyone bully Jack Carr to cast me in Season 3 of Terminal List. 😂😂😂
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I won’t remember who you are after I post this.
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Try viewing anyway · View on X
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Here’s another one… Is this guy fucking retarded?
Deltatech@CEO_Deltatech5h
You just made a political statement about a political statement using a slur. That's three for one.
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Leprechaun had a happy ending.
🤖 Made with AI
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Henry Cavill is in Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005). Superman vs. Pinhead!
🤖 Made with AI
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Is Paris still burning or are we over that already?
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If your car is on, you can drive it. Follow me for more life hacks.
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The Active Duty O5 tweeting from his desk in uniform again…
InfantryDort
@infantrydort17h
Replying to @infantrydort
And there will be no “ROE” excuses for you this time. Because there likely won’t be one in another civil war. Who is the traitor in a civil war? Whoever you’re shooting at.
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This new IOS update is awful.
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Chicks love bald dudes. It’s science.
Savvy
@SavvyUnbowed17h
Hang on. Gotta go shave my head…
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Well…. Umm….Yea…. YIKES!
Atlanta Falcons
@AtlantaFalconsOct 21
New PFP 👀
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You’re damn right!
HUNK/Mr. Death 🇺🇸
@11BDirtyLeg18h
He saved himself in the end
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Can’t RN… Watching Can’t Hardly Wait.
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Let me help this little fella out quick… If you think you’re gonna get under my skin, you’re barking up the wrong tree pal…
Legal Eagle 🦅@AllThingsCivilOct 22
Replying to @AverageSizeAndy
If you spend this much time @ employers maybe you can find a job, pulling for you bro
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It’s called the Sun…. Very hot at the border area.
Insider Wire
@InsiderWireOct 21
#BREAKING: The Pentagon allows DHS to test a heat ray weapon for possible use at the border.
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My mom just said I looked like Ben Affleck? 😂
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Gotta shave in a couple days. 😢
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Deport Donovan!!!
DH Guns Cannon@CannonLastStandOct 21
VIVA LA MEXICO
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I sure hope @HackingButLegal doesn’t charge me for the attention she gave me……
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