Madonna admits why she ran from motherhood for so long, and the childhood trauma that made her terrified of having children. “My mother died after giving birth to all my brothers and sisters. So literally the year after my youngest sister was born, my mother died. So I always equated motherhood with death. I also equated it with no freedom, or no life except taking care of other people. And so when I came to New York and I started my career, I was like, 'No, this is not for me. I don't want to be a mother.' I wasn't saying it out loud, but I was thinking, why would I give all of this up? I worked so hard for it. Well one day I found that I was pregnant... honestly, I was scared sh*tless. But once again, this is the story of my life. I keep finding myself in unconventional or unfamiliar places and I have to keep adjusting. I would say that is also the reason that I am still here... because being too comfortable in life is the downfall of a lot of people.”