@BenCardilli

Comedian from MTL, QC

 Montréal, Québec
linktr.ee/bencardilli
Joined September 2018
  • Tweets1.6K
  • Following300
  • Followers432
124Media
Prosecutor: Your story isn't fooling anyone! Me (on the stand): Jump in de line! Rock your body in time! 🎵 Jury: Ok! I believe you! 🎶 Prosecutor: Damn...
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Euphoria finale was pretty much…
🤖 Made with AI
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Maybe for Kanye the swastika is just the symbol for 69ing with your cousin.
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For this one Easter, Jesus wasn’t crucified. He was stoned. #420
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Just took an Uber to my place and imagined I was food.
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She’s going on hawk tour.
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“How high up does it go?” - Journalist inquiring about systemic corruption OR parent inquiring about the crap going up their baby’s back that is somehow dangerously close to its neckline?
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Socks have a much higher divorce rate than shoes.
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Nike should get @McConaughey as their spokesman and change their slogan to “Be a lot cooler if you did it”
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Spite. Obey your worst.
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Bob Barker dies at 99. Left us just under the dollar.
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For the first time in my baby’s crying career he actually made the “Waaaa” sound and I just looked at him like “that’s kinda hack, don’t ya think?”
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The MONTRÉAL Show 🫶 Bringing you directly into MTL's comedy scene, featuring the crème de la crème of the city's comedic talent 🍦 👑 Hosted by @BigP4H with @BenCardilli, Erich Preach, @harriweinreb, Marianne Mandrusiak, @mikecarrozza and @RashElie! 🎫 montreal.hahaha.com/en/shows…
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Whenever my dog hears thunder he goes full R Kelly.* *hides in the closet and pisses where he shouldn’t.
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Diet Coke. Shaken not stirred.
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“Next episode in” yea let’s just make me feel like a sack of shit for 5 seconds.
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I like when there’s a stool on stage so the crowd knows I did a stand-up.
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MAN UP, EAT BALD EAGLE!!! @BenCardilli @manyvids
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Short URL’s are a lousy lay. They com too quick.
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Ben Cardilli retweeted
Dr. Tyler Lemco@tlemco17 May 2023
A VERY HUNGRY SHOW! 🍳🥓🍕🍟🍔🥞🧇🍆🌮 Brand new @avseriousshow on @ManyVids featuring @lully514 #MichelleForrester @BenCardilli @theinfinitepest and the Picasserole himself @TheJoshElkin
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In movies, “don’t hang up” means “hang up before I get to the “up”
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