Finished @tunicgame this weekend. Most isometric fun since Link's Awakening, and most challenging puzzles since Grim Fandango. Thanks devs – loved every minute! 🗡️🧩

House rep support energy: Morpheus’s pre-rave speech to Zion. House rep objection energy: little Timmy reading his book report on Go Dog Go to the whole class.

It took 30 years, but I’ve finally fortified my home with security measures that would make Kevin McCallister proud. How would you respond if your B&E triggered the most bombastic and colorful rave on the block? 🕺🏻 #SmartHomeVibes

🎼 Oompa Loompa doopety doo. We’re going to take your children from you. ☺️

Has anyone tried hitting @realDonaldTrump with a confounding curse? All you need is 2 words: “be specific”.

My bottle of #TheLastDab Burnin’ Butthole Edition came in today. Thanks, @Heatonist!

Give it up, Papyrus. Go sit with Comic Sans.

Dance so hard your iPhone asks you if you’re driving.

.@elonmusk I'm no rocket scientist but I am positive that the fastest production car in the world is really @TomCruise.

When you reach to grab the J from your mouth 👌🏻. But you remember you're out in public ✌🏻.

Let me know when they finally decide to legalize gay marijuana.

Can't tell if you're stoned? Ask yourself, "what was I just doing?" If you can't remember, congrats! Your dad couldn't be more disappointed.