Max Allen

Cam Bruce has won the battle to be Brisbane’s new coach. Poised to be announced in next 24 hours. @AFLcomau

‘HYPOCRITE’ SOUTH AFRICANS DID IT TOO 🚨🚨 Usman Khawaja also outlined his deep resentment towards the South Africans over allegations that the Proteas had been ball tampering as well, and had tipped the Aussies in. “According to a senior player in the South African team who told me this long after the series, they’d had three guys working on the ball and getting it to reverse,” Khawaja wrote. “I won’t divulge how exactly they did it, but after I found this out, I realized they were just smarter and cagier than us. No wonder they were getting it to go quicker than us every time. We only had one person on it.” But as detailed in Code Sports’ Sandpaper documentary series, South Africa had a secret weapon in the form of SuperSport camera operators. “Years later, I was talking to a close friend who knew a prominent staff member of SuperSport – the broadcasters of that series in South Africa. He confirmed that South African players had complained to Graeme Smith (who was commentating) that we were doing something untoward and that he should get all the cameras to keep an eye on us. And that’s exactly what the cameras did. I heard this exact same thing after the Cape Town match from a few of our boys, but there was too much going on for me to care,” Khawaja wrote. The hypocrisy from the South African players here was unbelievable, but we were on their home turf and they held the cards. “They wanted the upper hand, and they knew if there was that much heat on us, and not them, we couldn’t really do anything that we normally did to get the ball to reverse swing. I want to make it clear, though, that, up to now, no team I’d ever been in had used sandpaper to roughen up the ball.”

Police have been called in after a 44-year-old man dressed as a werewolf entertainer punched a 12-year-old girl in the face at Carlucci's Restaurant in Templestowe on Saturday night. The child sustained cuts and bruises to her mouth and spent the night in hospital.

Day, a childhood Hawthorn fan, whose grandfather won a flag with Hawthorn, is going to be a Hawk for life. I can’t be assed putting up with these half-baked rumours for another 12 months.

Michael Clarke made 161 not out against South Africa at Newlands with a fractured shoulder. Morne Morkel hit him on the forearm, elbow, shoulder and helmet. He batted on anyway. It's still the last time Australia won a Test cricket match there. They're back next week.