Verified actor on the “Vikings” show or whatever, who cares
Joined June 2009
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Item at the store didn't scan, so I said to cashier "I get it for free, right?" My, how we laughed and laughed. Dancing in the shadow of death. Soon our lives will be forgotten, buried in paupers graves by the railyard. But oh! In that moment we did shine with the colors of life!
sometimes i turn to my wife, and i say "wife". and she looks at me. i continue. "i need targeted nutrition for longevity and muscle mass" i say. she nods. shes known this. "i'm making a casserole" she says cowardly. the voice of a coward.
*docks my model uss enterprise into home station* you did well captain. mission completed.
*my mom bursts in the door and screams "im leaving your father cuz hes a fucking asshole!"
me: there is zero respect in this house.
*cop pulls me over*
me: hey bud, just want to tell you i support you guys. i got a thin blue line tattoo around my entire waist. like it encircles my entire body. took like 5 sessions to fill in the color. anyway yea just like 5 Yuengling's. they're weak though.
Me a nigerian dude who posts the most obscure movie clip ever made
Comments:
NicolBaldo: brother is this good movie?
Me: you must guess again brudda.
trying to order a side of fried rice from the local chinese place but they've a la cart'd every addition. chicken 3 dollars. egg 2 dollars. a disparaging look from the wife of the restaurant owner? 4 dollars. "you've gotten bigger" she says. i hand her the 4.