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Caller: “I'm 26 and a nurse. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I graduated from school in 2023 with $167,000 in student loans. I've paid off a lot and have about $90,000 left. My boyfriend makes $250,000 a year, but he doesn’t want to propose until I’m completely debt-free.” Dave Ramsey: “Interesting. You’re not going to like me if you were my daughter.” Caller: “Why?” Dave Ramsey: “You want to know what I would tell you?” Caller: “What?” Dave Ramsey: “Dump him.” Caller: “Yeah? I mean, he’s a great guy.” Dave Ramsey: “No, he’s not. No, he’s not. No, he’s not. He’s making you prove your worth based on money. To him, you’re having to buy your way into this relationship. Nope. You’re a princess, and you deserve more than this.” Caller: “The reason I’ve been able to put the majority of my paycheck toward my loans is because he pays all of our rent.” Dave Ramsey: “Oh, so you live together?” Caller: “Yeah, we live together.” Dave Ramsey: “Oh, so you’re already married you just didn’t admit it.” Caller: “Yeah, it doesn’t seem like we’re married.” Dave Ramsey: “Well… yeah. Gosh. So what’s his incentive to get married? None. Jade Warshaw: “Living together before marriage is a bum idea. It’s not a good idea because what happens is you start making bad relationship decisions based on financial gain and the pressure you’ve already put on yourselves.” “It’s a lot easier to walk away from a messed-up relationship when he lives over there and she lives over here, and you just get together when it’s time to go on dates. It’s a lot easier to say, ‘You know what? This guy’s a bum. I’m going to walk away.’” “It becomes much more difficult when you’re living in the same house, splitting responsibilities, and he’s paying the rent. That makes it very hard to make the natural transitions you would have made if you hadn’t put that kind of pressure on the relationship.” Dave Ramsey: “You have a fabulous career as a nurse. You’ll always be employed, and you can work as much or as little as you want. You can work 80 hours a week or 20 hours a week. You’ll be able to do that for the rest of your life, and you can make a pile of money.” “All we tell couples to do is be aligned. Be in agreement about how money is going to be handled.” “Now, he’s in agreement that he hates debt. You’re in agreement that you hate debt, and you’ve been working hard to pay it down. But then he put up a false barrier here.I’m just telling you I love you, and if you were my daughter, I’d tell you not to marry this guy because I think this is a false premise.” “You’re aligned on what’s important. You’re aligned on saying, ‘We don’t like debt. We’re going to avoid debt, and we’re going to get out of debt.’” “If one of you has zero debt, but one person loves debt and hates saving while the other loves saving and hates debt, you’re going to get divorced later.” “The number one cause of divorce in North America today is money fights and money problems, This is a money fight, you’re just not having it out loud. You’re having it in your head.” Jade Warshaw: “It seemed like he was willing to help with the debt. We aren’t married yet, but it felt like he was trying to help, He was helping in the wrong way. That’s the only thing that makes me think he might simply be misguided. He said, ‘I’ll pay the rent.’” Dave Ramsey: “you can go to a marriage counselor and say Let’s get aligned on this, or we’re going to end this, But if at the end of the day, the answer is, ‘I won’t marry you until you pay off your debt Well, then the question has been answered. “You value that more than you value me, See you later, alligator.”