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Valbus Crumbledore 馃悁

@CaptainValcon

Weedrat. Rotisserie style.

 whirlwind of aggression
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets4.4K
  • Following956
  • Followers262
Re-installed Twitter on my phone purely to say that #Rezzmau5 at @hijinxfest had me feeling my insoles on a molecular level tonight @OfficialRezz @deadmau5
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"did you break a bong, or fracture it?"
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Ever look at your feet and you just can't consciously feel them? No? Just me?
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Hate not seeing the blue bird when I wake up #elonyousuck
Image from Valbus Crumbledore 馃悁 (@CaptainValcon)
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Big Mouth/Human Resources are such good shows, like, objectively the hardest hitting animated TV series, and somehow I'm lucky to exist at the same time they do?
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Christmas wishlist: I really want a loop lasso but I don't want to buy it myself, but they'd be soooo fun to have at a show 馃ズ
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Also realizing I drunkenly changed my Twitter bio to a Shrek quote this past weekend. Proud of me for that one
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I'm also rattled by the fact that I've encountered TWO people in the past month who were under the impression pepto bismol makes you poop (rather than blocks you up - what it actually does). Where did this false narrative come from?
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Someone asked me if I thought I should be eating more fiber when I asked where the pepto bismol was at and I laughed because fiber is the LAST thing my digestive track needs. I'm trying to reduce the poos, not give my body a reason to spend more time on the porcelain throne
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Yeah, so, welcome to midnight exhaustion tweets with Valbus 馃挬the type of content that will never grace the platform that is Threads
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Was really hoping to finally get a decent night's sleep but instead, here I am, hunched like some type of goblin on my squatty potty, deliriously eating pepto bismol tablets like candy at midnight
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I'm a huge slut for sustainability, so you know I had to cop this eco-friendly Speidel watch that's both recyclable & made out of recycled materials on prime day last week 馃槑 (driven by my desire to not constantly dig my phone out of my fanny pack to check set times @ festivals)
Image from Valbus Crumbledore 馃悁 (@CaptainValcon)
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"I just wanna trip him when I see him [in a road race]" - Thuy, on @SimplyStinzy
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When Bagel World is on the bachelorette party itinerary, you know it's gonna be lit
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An ask to any fruit-engineer/scientists out there (if that's a thing): please make raspberries without the crunchy seeds 馃ズ
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When mom brings home the Costco rotisserie chicken
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My job would be SO MUCH EASIER if people just read the information I sent to them 馃珷
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Asta and Naruto are exactly the same character in that they're both obnoxious orphans
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I'm just convinced that the development teams at Microsoft's only goals when they roll out new features is to ensure it annoys the ever-living hell out of me and only me. Where's Ashton? Where's the hidden cameras?
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Every picture I see of the new Shimothee Hamalei Wonka movie looks straight up bad and uninteresting.. Like, am I wild for thinking that's gonna be a bad movie?
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