Welcome to $CAT: Catching Absolute Tops. We wait patiently all day for the market to reach the absolute highest top, ape in with max leverage, watch our portfolio drop -99% in 4 seconds, and immediately scream DEV SCAM!! in Telegram. We help you catch the absolute top every single day by automatically distributing 100% of the 1% tax in $SPYx rewards straight into your wallet! Think of it as a participation trophy for your catastrophic trading timing. The moment you stop seeing $SPYx rewards hit your wallet, you'll immediately know the chart has nuked -99%! No charts required. $CAT (Catching Absolute Tops) is a meme coin created for purely satirical purposes. It has no intrinsic value or financial return expectations. You will likely buy the ATH and watch your balance drop -99%. Always trade responsibly! Official website: catchingabsolutetops.com Official ca: 8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

He showed me his phone. I showed him mine. We didn’t need to say anything after that.

Opened the app to check the chart. Closed it. Opened it again. Same red candle. Closed it again. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP Satirical meme. Not financial advice.

Guy at the door said the package never left the warehouse. I said neither did the gains. We both just stood there.

The forecast said 100% chance of buying the top. I laughed. Then I did it. They were right. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP 🐈

Bought a plant to have something that grows. Forgot to water it. Now it matches the bags.

Took the escalator up. Checked the phone halfway. The market was already going the other way.

Put the popcorn in for three minutes. Walked away. Came back to a crime scene. Same as the bags. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

Almost had it. Then it slipped. Felt like watching the green candle turn. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP 🐈

Everyone else was gliding. I was on the ice, matching the chart. Consistent. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

Signed up for pottery class to do something calm. The vase collapsed before I finished the first pull. Felt familiar. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

They stopped me on the street for a comment. I said I bought the top again. They kept the mic there like I had more to add. I didn’t. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

Went to the post office for a refund. They stamped it rejected. Felt like checking the chart. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

Spent the last SOL on fries. The cashier asked if I wanted a receipt. I said I already have one from the chart. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

Barber said it would grow back. Same thing I keep telling myself about the bags. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

First buyer was the KOL. Last buyer was me. Bubblemaps just confirmed the order. Then it was -99% and I was still holding. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

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They said help is on the way. I’ve heard that about the chart too. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

The only number I skipped. Just like the only candle I should’ve avoided. solana:8erE7RkkoiGYJtCyQdfwMpnNA8cAkY14Xe6RYjjHAdKP

They built a ship that can go anywhere. I pointed it at the candle and hit go.