Back when I was in the military years ago, my buddy Miller and I both got promoted from Privates to Sergeants on the exact same day. To celebrate, we decided to hit up the bar on the base. Miller was always a little bit cocky and arrogant, especially now that he had some rank. I was hesitant from the start. I looked around and said, "Miller, we shouldn't be in here, we're just privates." Miller pointed right at the new rank insignia on his uniform and told me, "Look at our sleeves, man. We're sergeants now." So we sat down and ordered a couple of drinks. A little while later, this attractive woman walked up to our table and we started talking. Things were going great, but right before they were about to leave together, she leaned in and whispered to Miller, "Hey, you're really cute, but I have to be honest with you. I'm actually dealing with a bad case of chlamydia right now." Miller didn't want to blow his chance, so he leaned over to me and whispered, "Hey, go look up the medical definition of chlamydia. If it's safe, give me a thumbs up." I stepped away for a few minutes, walked over to the base library to look it up in a dictionary, came back into the bar, and I gave him the thumbs up. A few weeks past and Miller ended up completely miserable, laying in a bed at the base infirmary with a severe case of chlamydia. He called me over to his bed and yelled, "Why the hell did you give me the thumbs up?!" I looked at him with a straight face and said, "Hey, the medical dictionary explicitly said it only affects the privates. But remember, we're sergeants now!"