Bearded & Fluffy 🍺🤪🍺🤪

I was petting a dog and the owner said "Do you wanna see her puppy in the car?" And I'm like "fuck yeah I do!!!" So we walked to her car and OMG the puppy was so cute. Then I thought to myself Damn...did I really just follow a stranger to her car cuz she she had a puppy 🤔🤣

Fuck it....let's do an ask anything session. Not like I have that many followers BUT I will be 100% honest with y'all

Started 2026 single..... Ending 2016 single....... Consistency is the key 🤘

I am stuck between " I am too old for this shit" and "Fuck it....one more round"

I'm not Layne Staley but I can be the man in your box

I'm not asking for much....just looking for someone to hold me, tell me they're proud of me while we share a Chili's Triple Dipper while watching True Crime documentaries in a pillow fort in my living room.

What I bring to the table: Dad Bod Average Size Cock Sarcasm Great Musical Taste Horrible Sleep Schedule Overthinking Anxiety & Stress Alcoholic Touch Of The 'tism Overall Awkwardness

If you don't create a social media post telling everyone you went to the gym, did you really even go to the gym ?!? 🤔

I've faced more peer pressure on who to vote for as an adult than i did to take drugs when I was in my teens.

GenX didn't have influencers growing up. We had older siblings, drunk Uncles, the neighbor two doors down and the guy at the local grocery store giving us all the free bad advice we needed to survive.

Not gonna lie.....I got confused by all those political yard signs and ended up voting for a realtor 🥴

I'm single but not single like some people in relationships claim to be on social media. In an "open relationship" my ass 🤣🤣

What doesn't kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping skills and a dark sense of humor

Just a heads up....when someone over 40 tells you "Well....as long as you're happy" What we really mean is " Well, you're dumb as fuck but it's your life "

Social media is divided into two sides: Depression and Horniess and apparently my algorithm finds me on BOTH sides 😈🥴😜😒

My thoughts and prayers to all the dogs out there who don't know WTF daylight savings is and now their dinner is an hour late 🤣🤣

On my way to Wal-Mart, CVS, Dollar General and Target for all the discounted Halloween candy before they put out the Christmas stuff....