@ChicksRule

Delightful | https://xitter.cf/t.co/b2mWHKOlxs

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Joined March 2011
  • Tweets38K
  • Following1.6K
  • Followers11.1K
7.2KMedia
Imagine if you stood up at work and said “You know who has one hell of a beautiful ass? It’s Carol from accounting. Stand up Carol! Show them your ass!” You’d be fired within the hour but the president gets a pass because everyone has accepted the fact that he’s a scumbag.
Republicans against Trump
@RpsAgainstTrumpOct 25
Trump: I looked at one hell of a beautiful ass before, Nicki Minaj. That's hard to miss.
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stunner
@KooNti10Sep 28
Praystation
Ramin Nasibov
@RaminNasibovSep 28
interesting design
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Neet
@neet_solSep 13
a 9-5 job is actually 24-7 when you account for the constant dread of going
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yev
@itisyevSep 11
Cavemen after they invented the spear:
Clavicular
@clavicularSep 11
I cant fucking do this clubbing anymore, cant stand it. Im done.
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Russian officials have biologically evolved to be harder to push out of windows.
WarMonitor🇺🇦🇬🇧
@WarMonitor3Sep 8
The head of Russias Rossotrudnichestvo in a press conference today talking about Russias deteriorating relationship with Armenia…
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I agree 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼
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scooby doo after he finishes praying:
إبراهيم@veenies_toyAug 18
ramen
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Kay
@KaylarWillAug 17
He’s very good at capturing PTSD
Jhonny ⚹٭
@JhonnyWhite69Aug 17
one of my boys js started tattooing hit him up 🔥
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You’re all gonna feel really stupid when Mitch returns to the senate with an amazing BBL
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trash jones@jzuxJul 9
if I landed a plane on my own after my teacher killed himself in front of me and they used HIS photo in the news I would find his body and throw it out another plane
Dexerto
@DexertoJul 8
A student pilot successfully landed a plane by herself after her instructor jumped to his death mid-flight She said her instructor told her "You know what to do" before leaping from the aircraft
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Genau genommen wählen 49% der Menschen eine weitere Verschlechterung ihrer eigenen Lebensgrundlagen. Bravo!
Käptn Chaos ⚓@DerHinzJul 2
Momentane Regierung: rückgratlos, empathielos, inkompetent und korrupt (im Arsch der Wirtschaftslobby). Derzeit größte Oppositionspartei: rückgratlos, empathielos, inkompetent und korrupt (gesteuert aus Russland) Super!
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E L H O T Z O@elhotzoJul 3
als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, musste er direkt vier Stunden in einem Wartezimmer rumsitzen, damit ihm der Arzt auf einem gelben Zettel bestätigt, dass er sich in ein ungeheures Ungeziefer verwandelt hat
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theyll never be able to afford a nest
@CactusRegios@RegioCactusJun 17
Comiendo aguacate en Iradzio, Michoacán 🇲🇽
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René
@schizohustlerJun 9
the worst part of getting fired was the hr lady butchering the delivery while reading my tweets
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Andy Ryan@ItsAndyRyanJun 8
[on my death bed] "Why didn't I just buy a normal bed?"
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s.@sunteiolesJun 6
breaking the silence
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useless fucking alarm i woke up before you. you mean Nothing to me
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jynx@miiagarroMay 26
and for the lady, perhaps a fucking break
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Always try to be helpful. Instead of saying “fuck off”, say “how can I help you fuck off”. It costs nothing to be kind.
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