#DadJokeFriday
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork chop
What did the buffalo say to his child when they left for college?
Bi-son
How did the pilot fly with no instructions?
He winged it.
#DadJokeFriday
What do you call a fish with no eye’s?
A fsh.
*knock knock*
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting co-
MOOOO!
What did the 2 oceans say to each other?
Nothing. They just waved.
#DadJokeFriday
My time at my first job didn’t last for very long. I worked at a bank and got fired in an hour. I guess when the lady told me to “check her balance” I should NOT have pushed her.
Why do ducks wear pants?
To cover their butt-quack.
What were grandma’s last words before kicking the bucket?
“That bucket sure is in a weird place…”
What does a cow say when you’re in the way?
Moooooove
What do you call a bear’s ribs?
Bear-becue
#DadJokeFriday
When does a joke become a dad joke?
It becomes apparent!
Why can’t animals on the Savannah play Poker?
There are too many cheetahs!
Why do mushrooms always get invited to parties?
Because they’re a fungi!
Samuel Burnside retweeted
James Cook: “You know I was thinking, it would be really awesome if you could let me rush for a touchdown”
Josh Allen: “Yeah but, if you score, how am I going to score? Think about it”
Kid toted the rock WELL yesterday!!
Some highlights from last nights game against Central Catholic.
We took home the win! 48-13
#badgernation #lampasasbadgers @LampasasScores @LampasasHS @LISDAthletics
#DadJokeFriday
Usually, if students complain about it being too cold in my classroom, I just tell them to go warm-up in the corner…
Because it’s 90 degrees!
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
How does a bee brush its hair?
With a honey comb.
#DadJokeFriday
My wife @coachmyhrek shouted that “you never listen to a word I say!”
Man, what a weird way to start a conversation…
Why was 7 in the hospital?
It was a sickx seven.
What type of cheese is not yours?
Nacho cheese!
#DadJokeFriday
How come the blind man didn’t come to the party?
Because Iris wasn’t there!
I thought about telling you a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy.
Then I also thought about giving a joke about bees, but I didn’t think it would bee sticky enough.
#DadJokeFriday
Where does a dad keep his passwords?
The dadabase
What did the pirates call the melon floating in the ocean?
A watermelon
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
What about 2 legs?
Lean beef!
Samuel Burnside retweeted
The best match from the 2025/26 season, as voted by YOU 🫵
🔴@Arsenal 2-3 @ManUtd ⚫️
preml.ge/tdxmtrwr
Samuel Burnside retweeted
A German visiting Auburn, Alabama, to watch Lionel Messi and Argentina play Iceland stopped at a Buc-ee's and ate brisket sandwiches on a stack of deer feeder corn.
A sentence never before uttered in all of human history.
