There's a fucking price to becoming self-aware, and nobody tells you about it. People talk about awakening like you've just downloaded some magical software update. Congratulations, you're conscious now. Everything's supposed to be sunshine, rainbows and spiritual enlightenment. Fucking bollocks. The more aware you become, the more shit you notice. You start recognising patterns in people, but the uncomfortable part is when you start catching your own bullshit. Your excuses, your reactions, the lies you've been telling yourself for years. You can't even have a proper meltdown anymore without some little voice in your head going, Here we fucking go again And sometimes you wish you could switch it off. Go back to being blissfully ignorant, walking around like half the population with absolutely no idea what's going on upstairs. But you can't unsee what you've seen. You catch yourself halfway through reacting, realise exactly which wound you're reacting from, and now you've got to sit there and deal with it instead of blaming some poor bastard for triggering you. That's the part nobody advertises about self-awareness. You lose the luxury of lying to yourself. Ignorance was comfortable. Awareness sends you the bill.