samRi LFT

“One does not simply quit Counter-Strike, they just take breaks.” Nah but seriously, I respect the decision and recognition of when to reprioritize and find balance. I can also relate with this stage in your journey. Although my hand was a bit forced with my false cheating accusation when I was just starting my pro career path at 16, it really messed up my chances for obvious reasons and it felt like the end of the world. This challenging fork in the road limited my options and so I chose the college route and in a way thinking back on it now I’m thankful it happened bc who knows how deep I would have gone chasing empty validation and success, then again on the other hand I’ll always wonder “what if?” Either way it was out of my control. I barely touched a gaming PC at all for over 5 years and CS was just sitting there waiting for me when my life was ready for it. Back to your path - you have built an immense and valuable archive, and as you said a log of your progress and your journey leading up to this point. Your future self will thank you for the effort you put in to that. It’s immeasurable but one day, especially if you decide to go the sports psych route, your channels will be a gold mine for yourself. I sure as hell regret not logging my journey as much as I could have. Don’t be discouraged by the effort you’ve put in to that. Infact I encourage you to continue in some capacity and atleast set a goal for yourself to post updates, maybe on a monthly basis or something for now and see where it takes you. Maybe even find ways to direct your energy into your schooling and start building a thesis with your content. Bring in guests, mentors, folks you resonate with who ideally can share some knowledge transfer to your audience. You can help carry the torch and continue paving this crazy path we call esports. Anyways, good stuff man and keep doing your thing and embrace this era, even tho it may seem bleak to you now. Keep checking in with yourself and making sure you do what is fulfilling to you. I’m confident the days will come where you don’t even think about seeking outside validation, and that your cup will be filled with your own sense of accomplishments.