"Warnings of icy roads across UK"
...Yeah! We know! That's why we give yer a shit load of cash! Go grit em dickheads...
TV Ads: "Cram your home full of useless crap this Xmas!"
...Fuck me, we had a burglar earlier! The fucker couldn't get in
"Councils prepare to grit roads"
...WHEY-HEY!!! Well done council... I'm so ecstatic I'm gonna give ya £140 every month! Yeah!!!!
"Holidays are coming! Holidays are coming!"
WHOO-HOOO!!! Yer know it's Christmas when yer see a lorry with fizzy pop on!
...Apparently
Why do women park up & frantically touch everything like they're desperately trying to escape but forgot where the door handle is?
"Obesity costs £47bn"
...it's like sayin,
"Yer know all that National Insurance yer paid?"
"Yep"
"We've been spendin it on yer"
"Mystery?"
Dominoes! Always finding more ways to stuff extra cheese into a pizza. They've hollowed out the crust & double layered the foundation!!!
Babies are cute & cuddly. Until you realise why they're actually here. They're here to replace us!!!
"Say Hi to Mike for me won't ya!" ...you want me to set off on foot & say "Hello from Terry" like I'm some ancient Greek messenger?
Wowcher- "Hurry, 64% off indoor fruit trees!!!"
...Yeah! You know what? I'm tired of growing my fruit outdoors!
D'ya think sharks would be embarrassed if they knew we could see their fins sticking out of the water?
Wonder what advert Coke'll do this Xmas to remind everyone of their existence?
Oh! Just an articulated lorry? Again!
Funniest part of #MrsBrownsBoys is the wrongly timed canned laughter, hahaha... Oh! It's in the right place??