Loves @kitty1977 Old Roland synths Korg Volcas QPR and my 2 boys far too young to be on X
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ALT CAR owners. Dissuade humorous neighbours from saying 'you can do mine next!' when you're cleaning your car by keeping a hammer in your pocket and starting to batter your windscreen when you see them approaching. Geoff Owens, Email
ALT WHEN buying a new bin, always buy two in case one isn't very good and has to be thrown away. That way you will always have something to put it in. Paul Smeenis e-mail
ALT Magazine Letter: These so-called speed humps are a joke. If anything, they slow you down. Time Wakefield, Surrey
ALT Carry a ten foot pole around with you everywhere you go in case you come across something that you wouldn't touch with it. Then you say "I wouldn't touch that with this," while pointing to it, so saving you having to say "a ten foot pole" all the time. Will, e-mail
ALT Moth balls Bees make honey and wasps make chutney ... but what do moths make? The answer is pepper. Incorrect facts about moths
ALT I'VE just bought a new TV and wonder if any of your readers could recommend a show with James Corden in? It's just I want to check that the mute button works. Skipper McKipper, Ashbourne
ALT Top Tip: Phishing scammers. Putting three exclamation marks at the end of the subject of an e-mail makes me less inclined to believe it's actually from Barclay's Bank. Alez Corrigan, e-mail
ALT PRETEND you're a Formula One driver by remaining in your car while you're at Kwik-Fit. Will Mylchreest, Leamington Spa
ALT SKY TV. Increase the number of subscribers to your service by taking the picture of James Corden off the back of your vans Chris Higson, Barrowford
ALT AVOID getting pissy splashes on your new shoes in public toilets by taking them off just before you step up to the urinal. Steve Crouch, Peterborough