🎵Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile🎵

I won Facebook today.

Fans at Bergamo airport give Kyle Walker emotional send off following successful 6 months loan period at AC Milan.

Sure. Why have the people elect a government when you can simply buy one. That’s exactly how democracy should work. Absolute wrong-uns, politicians, the lot of them.

Tried to download the update of the Evri app this morning. Still waiting. My next door neighbour just came round and told me it downloaded to his phone.

Just seen there’s a place called North Southwark. Why isn’t it just called Northwark? Or Centralwark?

Noel Edmonds Club

BREAKING: Harry Kane announces retirement from international football on June 1st

Is #LamineYamal 16 by any chance?

*AN* HISTORICAL BATTLE *@benonwine pulls trigger anyway*

Getting serious @HackerTDog vibes off my dog rn

Me (yelling upstairs): anything up there for the dishwasher? 15 yo Son: *brings down 5 beakers, 2 ramekins and one plate* Me: what the…? Son: well I don’t know! Me: well who else took them up there? The fucking borrowers?

Yippicayay…

#StarmervsSunak #ITVDebate

Half past August

Watching the #golf. Dame Laura Davies going full @GNev2 .

Cannot get this tune out of my head.

Is Ragee Omaar ok or is the autocue screwed? @itvnews

Ah Rod Pocket. Great singer.

“Non-executive director?”