Dive

On the Shinkansen home from Nagoya, and coming back here always makes me feel a lot of emotions, so let me write it out just this once. I moved here when I was 25 years old; a kid who'd never left the country before, suddenly living alone on the other side of the world. Those first few years were incredible; everything was new, every day was exciting, it felt like my life was starting over and I was setting off on some big new adventure. Even 16 years later, those early days are still some of the most vivid and happy memories in my life. But there was also this constant dread behind it. I hated my job. I was constantly stressed about money. I was alone with no support in case of emergencies. Everything felt temporary. Friends and acquaintances quickly came and went, and there was this mutual understanding that nobody was here for the long haul. I felt it too, but I didn't want to leave. I just knew I couldn't keep teaching forever. The problem was I had no idea what else I could do. All I was really passionate about was Fighting Games and Streaming, and back then the idea of earning any sort of living off that didn't exist yet. I went to the arcade every day and streamed as much as I could anyway, because it made me happy and gave me a sense of control in my life. But after 3 years I felt like if anything was going to happen for me, I needed to be near Tokyo. No clear idea or prospects, but everything big happened there, so if I was going to get lucky, I had to be close. A friend and I decided to make the leap together; we took this same Shinkansen I’m on right now, interviewed, got jobs, packed up and moved a month later. Won't give my life story after that, but that decision plus becoming a Twitch partner and beginning to earn some extra income (thank you to all the OG subs 😭) is what ended up opening doors and leading me to the life I have today. Now when I'm back in Nagoya, walking past all the old spots, remembering how stressed I was about money and how uncertain the future felt, and knowing I made it through all that… it's a feeling of success I can only get here. Incredibly cringe example, but it’s like returning to a starting area in a game that used to give you trouble, and wondering how you ever found it difficult in the first place. I don't have anything deep to say as this is just my story, and I don't want to sound like I'm bragging as I know I've been incredibly lucky to be at the right place at the right time. But I guess to all the people lost in their 20's, it is possible to start over and find the life you want. Or not, I dunno lol. (My first station, my first apartment, where I grinded Kanji every morning before work, and me 16 years ago)