@DocAtCDI

Tweeting smiles, & Snark #SmokeFleet socials I'm on are all @DocAtCDI As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

 Greater Flint, Michigan, USA
patreon.com/DocAtCDI
Joined April 2011
  • Tweets244K
  • Following56.9K
  • Followers63.8K
51.6KMedia
My pet chameleon can't change its color. It has a reptile dysfunction.
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Animal welfare said I can't keep my pet dolphin in the bath. Apparently, it's not fit for porpoise.
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The United Nations of Canine Diplomacy has convened and everyone is introducing themselves the polite way.
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You made it home! Shoes off, snacks on—tell us, did your day deserve a gold star or a sitcom recap? #WelcomeHome
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A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night. Oof.
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Or take this exact card out of circulation. $19 retires it forever with your name on the page as the one who did. Nobody else ever gets it mailed. docatcdi.com/mint/afterdark/…
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Jello Shot #45 of 103: BANANA BOAT 1 cup pineapple soda or pineapple juice. 1 box pineapple jello. 1/4 cup coconut rum + 1/4 cup banana liqueur. Makes 12 one-ounce shots. All 103 in the PDF, free at any tier on Patreon: docatcdi.com/go/jello?s=x
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When the real estate agent said "charming natural character" she forgot to mention the tree has a nose.
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From Left to Right Field: Baseball in Panorama from @LibraryCongress blogs.loc.gov/picturethis/20…
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I met a comedian who makes blankets from yarn. He's a real knitwit.
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When I was a kid, my parents would always say 'Excuse my French' just after a swear word. I'll never forget that first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French.
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I recognize you right now: You said no to the shortcuts that would've broken you, you built habits when motivation was gone, that discomfort? That's becoming happening in real time. You deserve every bit of this recognition.
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When you're bred for tactical operations but today's mission is apparently just "get shampooed."
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📅 October 22, 1962: The Cuban Missile Crisis Address #TodayInHistory #Limerick #History
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I gave my date a bottle of tonic water. Schwepped her off her feet.
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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Specia…

Togiavalu Pihigia - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org
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My friend said he didn't understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.
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The Door Wasn't the Problem to Begin With thesixthlense.com/article/th…

The Door Wasn't the Problem to Begin With – The Sixth Lense

As the premier stood at the podium, his words floated like a paper boat on a rising tide. The disconnect between "security upgrades" and the reality of a man with schizophrenia walking into a…

thesixthlense.com
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