Downer Alexandra

About to watch #Titanic for the third time today #SaveMeFromTheNothingIveBecome

#HappyEaster everyone! Don’t forget to Dress Up for Jesus™️ today!!! 💃🏻🕺🏼#Easter2022

Ok but let’s give @questlove the attention he deserves 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 #Oscar

Okaaayy Daddy De Niro #Oscars

How do you think rock bands feel that they can’t do drugs anymore

Do you guys ever ite, ite, ite, ipples and bininis and wish you had an orange instead? #Barney #Fruits

Nobody: Me wearing a camo sweatshirt and “work boots” to @Lowes: hello I would like to build something

I’m OBSESSED with how easy it is for me to turn into @danjlevy 💁🏻‍♀️🥳 #idonthavealabel #schittscreek #ewdavid #YUMdavid #schittyhalloween

When you’re leaving the bar and hear, “what happened to your girl”, you know you made the right decision

I’m a writer, so I if I give you an introduction, followed by a few descriptive paragraphs, and end with a point, I GuEsS you could say I’m “jumping to conclusions” 🤷🏻‍♀️

Was trying to think of the term “external hard drive” and I said “OUTSIDE HARD BOX” 😂😂😂

I don’t care how much you can dead lift. When Howie Day “Collide” comes on the radio, you cry a little.

Honestly, the worst part of my day is when I have to dislocate my shoulders, bend my elbows backwards, and break my wrists just to unhinge my bra.

Me, when I ~undress~ at the end of the night: Is this seriously a real fucking bra

Phone? Keys? Wallet? #HoeAnthem18

Are old people still marketing their CDs on random television channels? If so I want to buy

ATTN: men who I’ve flirted with at the bar and think we’re sort of exclusive????? I’ve seen so many better peepees

I just got real offended bc I thought I didn’t buy myself a drink at the gas station, but then I shift my giant thigh and lo and behold

A kid walked past me with a phallic-type item wrapped in foil. Of course I knew it was a #RoniRoll. I asked and he confirmed.

Once you’ve had a good roni roll, there will never be another roni roll that compares #WesternPAWhereYouAt