John Michael Clark ⚓

No woman has ever been sexually aroused by her husband doing chores. If she had sex with him after he did "chores," it was because she was the keeper of the sex and she wanted to reward her good boy with a treat, and keep him well trained. This process is emasculating and kills true attraction in a marriage.

What does it mean for a husband to "Be the Lighthouse?" 👇 -------------- There are two parts to this process. When I say that a husband needs to “be the lighthouse,” what that means is that he should have strong convictions that he won’t easily be swayed from. So the first piece of being a lighthouse is that it’s firm, immovable, and planted. It's not easily moved, even if there's a hurricane bashing up against it. The lighthouse isn't mad at the hurricane, but it’s not moving just because the waves are crashing on it. When the hurricane comes, the lighthouse says, “Yeah, you'll have to go around.” It's not saying, “How dare you!” It's not offended, petty, wounded, or passive aggressive. It's just happily unmovable. The second piece is the light that the lighthouse is constantly shining. This is the fruit of the spirit. This should look like a man who is full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. He’s still strong and grounded. He's not wounded, he's not petty, nor does he cave in and say, “Oh, well if you insist, I’ll move.” But he’s shining the light of truth out into the darkness. He’s firmly planted in his convictions, he’s not moving just because someone gets angry, but he’s also full of joy and peace. Now sometimes, a wife will test her husband and push back against his convictions. She will escalate her emotional response from a Category 1 hurricane to a Category 2 to see if he falls down as the lighthouse. And when he stands firm and gives her gentle, warm responses, she may continue to escalate emotionally because he's not obeying her. He's not doing what she wants. And an immature wife, if she refuses to submit, may continue to increase the emotional manipulation. Sometimes when guys do this, they panic and think, “Oh no, it's not working, she’s freaking out!” And we have to remind them, “What do you mean it's not working?" You must have thought you could control your wife, but you can't control her. She's going to do what she's going to do, but you should still be the lighthouse. You should still be planted, unwavering, and you should still be shining your light of joy and truth. There's no guarantee that she will respond well, but in standing firm despite her emotional storm, you are giving her the best chance she has for growth. The lighthouse isn't just a stoic statue saying, “I’m not moving, get over it.” The lighthouse says, “I love you, and I care about you. Here's what I believe, here's where I stand. No, I’m not going to move, I’m doing what I believe is best.” And just because someone gets super angry and escalates to a category 5 hurricane, the lighthouse doesn't suddenly go, “You know what, never mind. I actually don't have those convictions anymore.” It'll still be warm, gentle, patient, and full of conviction.

Twice a year, we hold an event for the guys in The Family Captain Elite coaching program, and we just had our fall gathering. The weekend was amazing: sessions, fellowship, worship, Jiu-Jitsu, prayer. It's so refreshing to hear these men encourage each other, challenge each other, and laugh together. Some of them have only been in The Family Captain for four months. Some have been in it for four years. But the things they have in common are that they love The Lord, they love their wives, they're committed to leveling up as men, and they've experienced insane growth from this brotherhood. If you're looking for brotherhood that will put you on the fast track to becoming fully respected, joyfully followed, and sexually desired, then find out if TFC Elite coaching program is the right fit for you 👇