Fen

I don’t say this often, but I truly am sorry. I’ve platformed and befriended some people who turned out to be different than I thought them to be, because I took their words and their desires to be my friends at face value. I gave them chances because I thought, despite the obvious problems, that I could help them and look after them, and I craved validation. It was only recently that I finally took a step back to realise that I should’ve put my foot down and not let myself be pushed or uncomfortably challenged, and that I was enabling their downwards spirals and their hatred. I let my own emotions make me look past some glaring issues. Regardless of my own opinions on a matter, I gave the benefit of the doubt too much, and caused more fuss than I ever wanted attached to me. I’m not the kind of person who likes or wants to perpetuate hatred, and I only tend to speak out when pushed. That isn’t me justifying things, and what is done is done, but things would’ve turned out very differently in other company. Regardless, a lot of my opinions and comfortability has shifted recently, and I’ve come to realise I have been immature and spoken before I thought things through, and let myself be driven by anxiety and fear. I’m still learning and growing as a person. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and fucked up a fair few times, more than I’d like to count. I’ve had many an unhealthy habit that I’ve been working on and breaking free of, and it’s tough, I can’t deny that. It’s for that same reason that I’m still on break, as much as I would love to see you all again. And truly, I can’t wait to see and talk to everyone again, as a more stable and rational person. I’ve done a lot of self discovery while I’ve been gone from streaming, and I hope to continue on that path ❤️ Apologies for the long post, but all this to say, I’m sorry. For those who stuck by me, thank you, and to those who didn’t, I don’t not blame you nor hold any ill will. Mwah <3