CERTIFIED LOVER GIRL

I started dating again recently and couldn’t help but notice this in many of the men that I’ve talked to. And here’s what I believe it is: 1. The desire for unequal investment. Some people don't just want mutual attraction. They want to feel that the other person is more invested than they are. The imbalance itself becomes validating. If she's asking all the questions, remembering all the details, and trying to understand him, he gets confirmation of his desirability without having to expose himself to the same degree. 2. Objectification disguised as romantic interest. He may be attracted to your appearance, attention, availability, or what having access to you represents. But attraction to someone's desirability isn't the same as interest in their subjectivity. He sees you as someone he wants access to, not necessarily someone whose inner world he wants access to. 3. Control through withholding & testing you There's a psychological component to deliberately withholding reciprocal interest. When someone makes you work for basic engagement, you can become preoccupied with securing the attention they're withholding. In some dating strategies, this is actually encouraged as a way to manufacture perceived value and maintain relational leverage. A lot of men do this to test to see if you have “anxious attachment style” or low self esteem. If you don’t cut them off, they will believe that you will put them above you in desperation for their attention.