Alberto

This is probably the biggest misconception about traditional marriage. It confuses a wife's duty of submission with an obligation to obey every request her husband makes. Yes, Ephesians 5:24 teaches that wives should submit to their husbands. But it doesn't follow that every preference a husband expresses becomes a morally binding command, such that refusing him constitutes a sin against God. 5 points tend to get ignored on this topic: 1. Submission isn't unlimited obedience. St Thomas Aquinas asks the question in Summa Theologiae, II-II, q. 104, a. 5 of whether subjects must obey their superiors in everything. No, he answers. Human authority only binds within its proper sphere. He explicitly explains that scriptural commands to obey human superiors in all things refer to matters within their legitimate authority. He says that when the Apostle says "in all things," he refers to matters within the sphere of a father's or master's authority. And the underlying principle applies to marital authority as well. A command can be perfectly lawful in itself, yet impose no obligation of obedience because the person issuing it lacks authority over that particular matter. 2. A husband has authority, but he doesn't have authority over everything his wife does. McHugh and Callan's Moral Theology, §2626, recognises the husband's authority in domestic affairs while distinguishing these from the wife's personal affairs, such as her conscience, political judgments and property. It also insists that a husband should consult his wife on important family decisions and seek mutual agreement. Even traditional Catholic moral theology doesn't turn the wife into someone who must carry out every instruction her husband gives. A husband has limited authority over his wife as his wife, not total authority over her as a woman. 3. A request isn't necessarily a command. If a husband asks his wife to bring him a drink, and she declines, has she sinned against obedience? Not necessarily. The fact that he asked doesn't establish that she was morally obliged to comply. McHugh and Callan make precisely this distinction in §2366: disobedience concerns the violation of a lawful command issued by legitimate authority, rather than the refusal of every request or piece of advice. Her refusal might be uncharitable, depending on her circumstances and intentions. But that's an entirely different moral question. 4. Submission must be understood within the whole of Ephesians 5. St Paul begins with mutual submission in verse 21 and commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church in verse 25. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, §24, explicitly teaches that marital submission is "not one-sided but mutual." This doesn't erase the distinct responsibilities of husband and wife. He's still the head. But it establishes that marital authority exists for the good of the marriage and must be exercised through charity rather than arbitrary demands. 5. Even obedience can become a vice when it exceeds its proper bounds. McHugh and Callan's Moral Theology, §2365, notes that servile submission in matters requiring one's independent judgement is a distortion of obedience. Obedience is a virtue governed by reason and justice, rather than the indiscriminate surrender of one's will to another human being. It's true that a wife can sin by wilfully refusing to fulfil a legitimate marital obligation, including an obligation of obedience within its proper sphere. But it's false that whenever a wife refuses something her husband asks her to do, however small, she necessarily disobeys God and commits sin. This matters enormously in marriage coaching because it converts ordinary disagreements, personal preferences and differences of judgement into accusations of sin. It also encourages husbands to mistake their own wishes for the will of God. A husband's authority is real, but it's ordered to the common good of the family, not to the satisfaction of his every preference.

This is such a true point. The real question is WHAT is the primary purpose of the Mass? Our edification or a Sacrifice of God? A point lost on most parents, I think.

Friday night on the Summorum Pontificum pilgrimage: Traditional Vespers just ended, celebrated by one cardinal, greeted by another. Standing room only—tradition-loving Catholics wall to wall! Cardinal Burke will offer TLM in the Basilica of St. Peter’s tomorrow. Keep praying!

So Much for Unity: Many Months before Traditionalists were Blocked at Saint Peter's, Prevost's Election was Decided in Burke's Apartment rorate-caeli.blogspot.com/20… (by @Capozza_Franc)