@Footinit

Woman of misc. heritage & exotic ‘fro - Old enough to be your mother - Pro-Am carer - ‘Buxom menace’ - ‘Like Vera Drake’ - https://xitter.cf/t.co/sKj6Ughk8A

 Cambridgeshire, England
Joined June 2010
  • Tweets47.2K
  • Following1.3K
  • Followers4.2K
3.2KMedia
Shift. I meant SHIFT! Oh god.
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I may be an inept fool. I say the wrong thing often. My twitter handle @Footinit is no accident. But, unlike a lot of people, I’m never knowingly a cunt.
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Thought of you when this came on @manfuego007 open.spotify.com/track/42z4v…
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We left after 40 minutes. Dire. Son decided not to wear the costume and keep it for Halloween party tomorrow. Thank god because the cinema was full of 50 year olds and he’d have looked ridiculous. Especially walking out half way through. Booyakasha!
Problem Child@FootinitOct 26
Looks like I’m watching the Ali G movie tonight. To add insult to injury, I will be attending the cinema with a 17 year old in full Ali G costume. Might lie and tell him I couldn’t find 2 seats together.
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Looks like I’m watching the Ali G movie tonight. To add insult to injury, I will be attending the cinema with a 17 year old in full Ali G costume. Might lie and tell him I couldn’t find 2 seats together.
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🤖 Made with AI
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Btw I simply removed a tonne of cat hair from the carpet with chatGPT so you wouldn’t think/know I’m a slattern.
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Reminds me of the 8 armed police in full body armour poised and ready to shoot when neighbour reported ‘armed men in the village’. It was my 12 year old son and his friend playing with a Nerf gun on the driveway. Took months to get them to drop the case.
Brendan Kavanagh (Dr K)
@brenkavOct 23
Six police surround myself and my wife and arrest us at home. This is from the police bodycam footage. We’re currently taking action against Bedfordshire police for this outrageous arrest. Myself and my wife were clearly soft targets, not exactly hardened criminals but they handcuffed both anyway …all charges dropped after a couple of months with no apology or explanation. The children were terrorised and they’ll never trust the police again.
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I’ve always survived on 4 hours of interrupted sleep on a good night. Since being ill I’m sleeping 10 hours every night and it’s still not enough. Can’t tell if I’m broken or fixed.
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Grandfather and grandson.
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Subtitles amuse me.
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I have no problem with people peeing in the shower but hearing someone blowing their nose in the shower makes me want to vom.
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Thrilled to have viral pneumonia via influenza. Also woke up with one eye shut so conjunctivitis too. Tamiflu and Chloramphenicol now in system. I look like a bedraggled pirate. All limbs present and correct, so far.
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Had to take son to orthodontist today ‘Mother, can we leave? Kettering makes me sad.’
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Incidentally, although I made my son sound twee and precious like ‘Alan Bennett’ he calls me mother because I hate ‘mum’ so I am ‘mother, motherino, mothership, bruv and madre’. At least I’m no longer mummy!
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I am obsessed with punctuality. One minute late this morning, due to getting my hair caught in the bathroom light pull-cord thing. AGAIN.
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East of Eden was a welcome distraction during my confinement. I won’t review it but definitely recommend it.
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Problem Child retweeted
Marina Hyde
@MarinaHydeOct 15
Just gonna have to call it: Jesus would not be pro public executions. Given everything that … happened.
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Do you remember that swallowing thing Bob Monkhouse used to do? Looked for a nanosecond as if he might be shedding his skin like a snake? I’m now doing that every few seconds because my throat is so inflamed.
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Emojis irritate me.
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