Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose) header
Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose) profile picture

I am going to use my dark evil wizard incantations to remove your testicles.

Joined July 2013
Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)Photo by Terrible Frightening Evil Sorcerous Wizard (@FrootyGroose)
I am a Real American Patriot. I live in a box of sand beneath the burnt out husk of a 2004 Scion xB. I subsist on a diet of Tang, pizza Lunchables, and leftover Hershey's Desert Bars from the Gulf War. In the winter I burn the Desert bars to keep warm. I don't know what China is.
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They feed us poison So we pay for their "cures" While they suppress our medicine
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Denmark 2... Denmark 2..... Denmark 2.........
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Does Medusa work of you're wearing glasses? I know she doesn't work via reflections, so what shenanigans does the light have to go through before the stone effect stops working, what's the limit? Would a telescope count? What about through a camera? At what point does it stop?
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This is how I like to imagine the relationship between Morgoth and Sauron Sauron probably threatens to go back to his real dad Aulë every time Morgoth beats him
Morgoth: "I AM VERY ANGRY BECAUSE THE HALLOWED LIGHT OF THE SILMARILS WHICH I HAVE SET WITHIN MY IRON CROWN BURNS AND HARMS ME AT ALL TIMES. ALSO THE CROWN IS REALLY FUCKING HEAVY" Sauron: "then take it off" Morgoth: "FUCK YOU"
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Morgoth: "I AM VERY ANGRY BECAUSE THE HALLOWED LIGHT OF THE SILMARILS WHICH I HAVE SET WITHIN MY IRON CROWN BURNS AND HARMS ME AT ALL TIMES. ALSO THE CROWN IS REALLY FUCKING HEAVY" Sauron: "then take it off" Morgoth: "FUCK YOU"
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The black rifle coffee alpha male takes a sip from his thermos and looks out from the bunker to the battlefield, it’s hell out there. “Perfect” He thinks He adjusts the sights on his custom-built 16-inch 6mm ARC AR-15 with a Proof Research carbon-fiber barrel, JP Enterprises silent captured spring system, and a Geissele Super Dynamic Enhanced two-stage trigger. He picked it because the trigger felt smooth against his $350 carbon fiber combat gloves, and the alloy magazines were 20 grams lighter against his $2200 Kevlar vest. He mindlessly feels at his tactical pouch, he has a 10 year supply of testosterone cypionate in it, just in case the pharmacies get hit. He smirks, “Daddy needs his combat fuel.” He’s been on TRT for 7 years, his testes have cobwebs on them. He steps out of the bunker, he’s spent years training for this moment, doing weighted carries, getting “don’t tread on me” tattoos, bow hunting, having a beard. “It’s fuckin showtime.” He announces. Just then he feels something lightly tap his leg. He glances down. It’s a 17 dollar drone off temu. It has a decal on it. “Is that… hentai?” His legs are blown smooth off. 12 miles away in a disgusting room illuminated only by the degenerate glow of purple LED strip lighting, a 17 year old leans back in his cum stained gamer chair. He’s grown so frail and sickly his friends and family keep mistaking him for Asmongold. He grabs another 30mg vyvanse and washes it down with a cold chicken nugget. “GG faggot” He’s killed 500 men.
5am, Black Rifle Coffee consumed, Black Rifle Energy packed up, headed to the range
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friends and i watched a tubi movie this weekend and i am still in awe of this sequence and this song. dude
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kill all of these people kill them kill them kill them I want them dead kill them now destroy bomb missile kill kill kill die die die
Ngl this one hurt
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Oh yeah well then who was that hairy guy I shot in the woods behind a Wawa
The iconic Bigfoot video from 1967 is officially confirmed to be a hoax after new archival footage was found for an upcoming documentary. (Source: variety.com/2026/film/review…)
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instead of a headboard my bed has the monolith from 2001 a space odyssey
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had a dream I wasn't me and it was the happiest I've ever been
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girls are getting smaller to protect themselves from danger🐛🐜🕷️🪰🦋🪳🪲🐞🐝🦗🦟
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A GIGANTIC DINOSAUR IS ATTACKINGOURBOOOOOOYS
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I think it's time to address the recent allegations I'm sorry to say, but yes, it is true: I am the man-freak-beast from the film 'Devil Story' Please respect me and my family's privacy during this trying time as we work through this together Thank you
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Invented a new chess opening called The Retard's Blunder
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eight hideous oblate spheroids just mockingly wobbled past my second story window before turning and wobbling past again
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Uni is a pumpkin boy now
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