awfully arrogant of you to assume that you've heard EVERY rape joke to be able to judge that none of them are funny. I assure you that me and my boys have a few thousand more for you
There’s a case about self defense most people learn in law school where a guy living in a garage upper loft pulls out a bow and arrow he keeps in the rafters and shoots another guy who was trying to get him out of the loft by lighting the garage on fire
I was trying to kill a wasp by holding a sledgehammer and spinning around as fast as I could and the damn thing flew out of my hands and obliterated about 40 of my chinchillas. Luckily I have plenty more but they’re trying to evict me
I can't have sex with your personality
And I can't put my penis in your college degree
And I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams
So why you sharing all this information with me?
Damn girl you are so hot do you want to have sex? Oh God no, not with me, I just want to watch you have it in general
Thank you, I’ve been saying this for years
I like to walk through the target makeup aisle while gesturing at a can of large white monster and asking if anyone wants a white monster. Then I follow it up with “what about a tiny quarter Asian monster that struggles to get hard” while gesturing at my crotch
Looking for a girlfriend for these upcoming winter months. Primarily we will watch tv shows together. I will hate all of them, call most of the characters slurs, and bitch in detail about why the writing is terrible. I will continue to watch all of them and change nothing















