Mohammed Hamdan Dagalo (parody)

My fellow Tchadian compatriot, Why are you taking away from my achievements? It is very honourable to steal from the Sudanese citizens, who are all Muslim Brotherhood and Joint Protection Force members. This is our right as Baggara settlers, don’t be shy! Sincerely, حميرتي

How dare you not give credit to my ex-Mossad social media handler polishing my PR for Western circles, or the Mossad who supplied me with surveillance equipment to use against democracy activists before the war? Thank you Israel for supporting 25th Oct and 15th April coups 🇹🇩❤️🇮🇱

هو ما بقول كدا فلصفحة لاكن شكرا لك فمجهودك ضد الحق ومع التضليل والmisinformation الأمير محمد حمدان دقلو آل نهيان 🇹🇩🇮🇱🇦🇪

الكلام دا ما مكتوب فلجريدة لاك شكرا لشغلك عشان تخلي المواطنين ما عارفين الصح من الغلط

Hey, give me credit! I love Israel and I am a massive Zionist! That’s why the colonial state supported both of my coups in 2021 and 2023!

Why are you saying that the Army destroyed 86% of the infrastructure? Me and my forces have been hard at work with weaponry from your country to destroy every last civilian dwelling, school and hospital. Give me some credit.

My social media handler in Canada among others would agree to disagree. Give me some credit, I rode Israeli dick like crazy in the lead up to the war to secure their backing in my rebellion. And it worked!

The place that pays my salaries, keeps my fighters fed and gives them weapons and ammunition for free. The place where I send the gold that I bled Sudan dry for. The place where my family lives to launder money from our gold business. Thank you UAE 🇦🇪❤️🇹🇩

The one where the people are much more attractive (i.e. the Resistance Axis)

صاحب السمو الملكي، شكرا يا حبيبي على دعمكم السخي لمشروعي الإستيطاني الإبادي وشغلي فالتطهير العرقي فغرب البلد، المستوحى من أعمالنا السابقة في ليبيا واليمن وعون الشيطان تعالى ورسوله نتنياهو سننجح في قتل كل السودانيين. والشيطان الموفق، محمد حمدان دقلو آل نهيان جرامية -شفشفة - جغم