Goody Chadwick

If there's a spider and you know it clap your hands (clap clap).

It never occurred to me to wonder what her job was, until she dyed her hair blue.

Change your Brita filter; change your life.

Can we sign that petition too, 'cause I also don't think he should get to meet the queen.

Phoenix. Also a girl's name now.

Meanwhile, Trent has become a girl name.

#inothernews some really nice stamps at the post office right now. #love #wonderwoman #WPA #yearoftherooster

Super hated The OA. My joke about a show that's "The OA meets The OC, we'll call it The AC," is ruined by how much I hated The OA.

"That's enough pie for you, Mama."

Lots of "Hindsight is Twenty Twenty" campaign slogans being prepared, I'm guessing. #2020

It's like that pig ep of BlackMirror. Like Oh, haha, that won't happen...and then a building sense of dread/panic/revulsion as it happens.

New year new toothbrush.

Remember when twitter was fun?

Forgot to take our picture in front of the Turkeys Are Here sign at Trader Joe's.

You know who likes stuffing? People whose parents are still married. #thanksgivingtheory #explainstuffing

A man who has never even driven a car before is about to drive this bus. #usa

What this polling place needs is a better selfie spot. #selfieforamerica

I try to use "amazeboobs" whenever I can because it's, like, feminist.

I'm bored of your Eleven costume. I'm especially bored of your Sexy Eleven costume.

No flying cars please.