Awkwafaba

This distracted boyfriend meme is my magnum opus.

Trying to trick my algorithm into no longer feeding me trad rage bait

Got upgraded on my flight to NYC this morning and everyone in 1st class was amusing themselves by questioning a young pauper about his rootless existence. I looked back into the rest of the plane - everyone doing an Irish jig. Was just a very interesting observation.

Her job title is literally Chief People Officer. She is just doing her job being a people person. What's the problem?

What if some bumbling Sistine chapel intern fell into the fireplace equipment and the smoke billowed by mistake?

List of Kentucky Derby horse names that hit the cutting room floor: But Her Emails Thx Obama Podcasts Content Creator Fracking Supply Chain Problems Avian Bird Flu First World Problems Natural Gas Tariffs Manufacturing Consent Yellow No. 5 2 Barbies For Every Girl Eggs

Every time I pause my Nuuly for another month, I feel like the Buddha

My StateFarm rep just asked if I watch Severance. I thought he was gonna connect it to the horror of late capitalism insurance, as he'd just explained I'm better off with a high deductible so I don't make frivolous claims that up my premiums but it was just bc my name is Helly

With Patrick Swayze and Val Kilmer gone, we must protect Kurt Russell at all costs

Mike White writing an episode of White Lotus #WhiteLotus #TheWhiteLotus

POV: I did a thing and I don’t know who needs to hear it

I kept playing a word game against the computer today and lost 10 times in a row. Guess I'm just building goodwill for when the machines take over

How come everyone is either an old soul or a young soul? Why is no one ever a middle aged soul?

Noam Chomsky is kickin tho

Not to get technical about it but I think you did want to bug him in the middle of dinner, Alanis

They're really going to rethink things now!

Explain it to me like I'm 5 years old. How do you read?

Could Lazarus Lake have just taken the money for Barkley and not torn down Jasmin Paris's (and everyone else's) accomplishment down on the way out? marathonhandbook.com/utmb-ac…

Me when I got logged out of my Facebook account for the first time in 20 years and realized it was sadly me using the app the entire time