Father | Husband | Emergency Medicine Physician | Tweets ≠ medical advice

Charting
Joined June 2019
Patient: doc, I need something to help me stay awake Doctor: take two of these and call me in the morning Patient: but these...aren't these your kids? Doctor: trust me, I'm a doctor.
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Even though I’m working, I will be giving out my favorite fruity candy this Halloween. It just melts in your mouth and people ask me for it all the time. It’s Zofran I’m giving Zofran
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They didn’t explicitly tell us that Madame Blueberry had chronic bronchitis, but there were signs
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I don’t think of wet dirt when I hear the phrase “mud piles”
Tell me you went to medical school without telling me you went to medical school.
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I watch all online videos at 2x speed.
Tell me you went to medical school without telling me you went to medical school.
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Another day, another accusation
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My favorite thing to teach medical students is not how to manage critically ill patients, not any specific procedure, it’s not even how to order a CT scan. I love to show how emergency medicine can be a rewarding, fulfilling career. It’s not all doom and gloom and burnout
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Some of the old times knee replacements are crank-to-start
Same doctor says stay off the leg and take it easy for a couple weeks. Can you explain?
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Apparently I have done an incalculable amount of harm by calling the consulting team to consult on a patient for consulting services that they provide.
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Neurologist: “even a toaster has a GCS of 3” Me: you’re not going to believe this
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Oh, you think your life is hard? Back in undergrad, I had a professor take points off my scientific paper because I used the phrase “downstream effects”, and the reason he gave is that “we aren’t talking about a river”
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Glen O'Humeral retweeted
Saw a patient today for rib pain. On her property, she has a large pond. Many geese stop for both their migrations north and south, but they don't nest there. Early this past summer, one of the geese stayed, and it's been by the pond ever since.
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The farmer in the ED during daylight hours getting ready to tell you the most insane story about how he lost a finger back in the day
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“You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose” — Infectious Disease, probably
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🩺 Which part of the human body has the highest number of pain receptors? 🤔
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As a doctor, saying, “wow, that sounds awful. You should see a doctor about that” to my patients when they describe their symptoms is as funny as it gets
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The nurse with me who has heard this joke for the 30th time today.
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They laugh. I laugh. Family laughs. Rapport established. Life is good
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As an outpatient physician, this is the most misunderstood conflict between patients and doctors. From the patient perspective, it’s inconsiderate, especially when many offices will reschedule if you are more than 10 minutes late. Traffic, child care, finding a ride, time off work. So many factors go into just getting to a doctor’s appointment on time. From the physician perspective, there is a giant machine behind the doctor dictating how we run our clinics. Administration, reimbursement, regulatory hurdles like prior authorizations, balancing wait times with patient demand. If you asked most physicians how many patients they would like to see in a vacuum, most would choose a number that is far fewer than their current volume, but the healthcare system has other ideas. I wish we had an empathy contraption. Two people wear it and you instantly understand the other person’s experience. In lieu of that, these types of complaints and disagreements can be remedied with better communication. Give patients updates on the status of the clinic. Vast majority of people are reasonable, just communicate. Have a system for it.
Doctor’s offices be like: “please arrive 15 minutes early so the doctor can see you 45 minutes late.
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[med student pre rounding at 4:30am] HAVE YOU POOPED YET?
Surgery is like we're rounding at 530
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Making the diagnosis of BV on wet prep
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