Improper Traci

Come for the laughs, stay for the gaffes.

How does one cross their buns? I've heard of crossing your legs, arms, even eyes. But buns? No one ever explained that one.

I feel special today because the optometrist highly complimented the color of my eyes.

I submitted my acting resume tonight, to audition for my local improv troupe on 11/14. Please wish me luck!

I call cannabis "apéritif," because it's French for an appetite starter. The only difference is that it usually refers to an alcoholic beverage.

Don't say that I didn't warn you.

#FrenchFriday #Vendredifrançais 🇨🇵

I finally had someone pick me on the dating app I use. However, I'm not interested. His reply is disturbing. I said that I want someone to play with my hair. You can see his answer. First of all, eww. Secondly, that's not playing, more like plotting.

Someone just called my place of business, passed gas into the phone, then hung up! I don't want to give anyone any ideas, though.

I had to have one of my two dogs put down tonight. I no longer have a pair of poodles. Tomorrow would have been his 12th Gotcha Day. He had his furever home. RIP Buzz.

#FrenchFriday #Vendredifrançais 🇨🇵

I went to the bank today and watched as a woman waited for her at least six stacks of ones to be counted. I spotted one two dollar bill. Makes me wonder what she does for a living.

If I don't cry, I'll laugh.

As I looked across the intersection, I noticed the metermaid taking down my car's info, because I was in a 20 minute limit space. I felt a sense of satisfaction as she nodded affimatively as I got in. I had been there for about 10 minutes. I'll take my confirmations where I can.