Voice Acting. Poetry. Jokes. JDExists on Youtube and Substack. Poetry Collection: https://nitter.gq/t.co/FMBcilEbU2
Joined November 2016
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Jordan retweeted
If you are even thinking about no chasing, no begging, no settling, and stuff falling away, it means you are still ATTACHED. VERY VERY VERY ATTACHED.
Jordan retweeted
i feel like every day we really do get closer to just talking in Cyberpunk 2077 streetslang. like there's not a massive world of difference between a chromed-out gonk getting zeroed and a chudded moid getting kirked
Jordan retweeted
The thing is, effort is only called effort when two people don’t like each other. When you like/love each other, it is called having fun together. Not effort.
Jordan retweeted
Know the difference between real vs. fake healing. Fake healing is:
- Anything that requires repetition
- The need to heal the same aspect of an issue more than once
- Any healing method that one can get certified for
- Any form of healing that doesn’t end
- Any method that causes damage to the energy, body, and mind
- Prayer
- Meditation
- Spirituality
- Reiki
- Programming your thoughts
- Affirmations
- Talk therapy
- Breathing exercises
- Yogic exercises
- Building habits
- Releasing habits
Jordan retweeted
A lot of people I know who do interesting things started with a diving board moment: they stood on the edge of a big project and made the leap despite being terrified. With me, this happened at 17 with my Eagle Scout Project. I found myself in charge of building a boardwalk through the woods at my summer camp. But I had never done a construction project in my life.
The leap wasn't really by choice. I moved through the ranks of boyscouts, getting merit badges for learning how to set up tents and shoot rifles and so on and it was all very straightforward. And then, right before college, you get to the final rank and suddenly you have to become a project manager. I did not know what this entailed, so I went for it.
In my case, building a boardwalk turned out to entail making engineering diagrams, managing a big team of builders, operating heavy machinery, and – most terrifying of all – cold-calling random businesses to ask them to donate free wood and cinderblocks. I'm lucky I was unaware of how daunting all this would be, because if I knew in advance, I probably wouldn't have jumped off the diving board.
But once I was in the water, so to speak, I was shocked at how malleable reality turned out to be. I called up strangers and they gave me free stuff. I asked adults to do the woodwork and they said yes. People lent me their drills and hammers and hours. This shattered my conception of social reality, which was previously based on the theory that Things Happened in the world because of institutions and their rules and employees.
It was sort of an initiation into the very idea of personal agency. Having discovered it, I had dramatically less fear the second time I jumped off the diving board, and even less the third, until today where doing things like starting companies or running festivals or whatever still feels daunting, but not paralyzing. Compare how much less intimidating the second time having sex or driving a car is to the first time. It's like that.
It also helps that I've failed a bunch of times after jumping off. I've discovered that failure, while embarrassing, does not come with existential stakes. I survived. And, sure, sometimes there was reputational damage, but it blew over in time.
I write about this because I know a lot of people who haven't reached the potential I see in them. Usually, in my opinion, this is because they haven't yet had their diving board moment. I know literal geniuses who rot in their day jobs because of a habit of stepping back from the diving board.
For many of them, the action of stepping back might be so habitual that making the choice to jump off feels too ingrained to be a choice. This is especially true for those I know who are making lots of money doing normal jobs they hate. I do not want to tell them "just jump from the diving board!" That seems too simple. But maybe one thing I might say is, "Ask someone who loves you to push you off."
Jordan retweeted
Yes. Anyone who chooses kindness instead of cruelty is faking the kindness or trying to be kind. When people are truly healing, the choice of being kind is taken away from them. There is No More Choice. There is only one setting: kindness, like going into an app that has zero other options on the drop–down menu. So long as a person can pick options on the drop–down menu, real healing has not started.
Jordan retweeted
Do people have to be healed before they enter into a relationship? No. But don’t expect to have peace.
Jordan retweeted
This was great situational awareness translated into protective action. Low-risk, potentially high-reward intervention. No need to be confrontational or even accusatory. A very safe response for all parties.
Jordan retweeted
Technically, there is no such thing as a healthy relationship. What there should be are two healthy PEOPLE who interact with each other. If both people aren’t fundamentally healthy, then there Can Never Be No Healthy Relationship, Period. The relationship can never be more than what two people are. Two broke people don’t make a millionaire couple, so to speak.
i think one’s ability to be in a healthy relationship boils down to:
1. can they self regulate?
2. can they co-regulate (hold space)?
3. do they care about their partner’s emotional states?
4. can they skillfully express their own emotional states?
5. are they prone to being manipulated by their partner’s emotional states?
6. do they manipulate their partner with their own emotional states?
7. are they in a fixed or growth relational mindset?
and that’s basically it. it’s not that one has to be perfect at all of those but there is a threshold, that depends on one’s partner, below which it will be an unhealthy downward spiral and above which it will be a mutually beneficial upward spiral. am i missing anything here?
Jordan retweeted
Unhealed people cannot produce healthy relationships, no matter how hard they try. Fundamentally, a relationship is what you are, as you are. If you are { } this much love, that is the relationship. If you are { } this much fear, that is the relationship. It isn’t possible to have MORE than what you are. A relationship is not what you do, contribute to, or create.
Jordan retweeted
People approach relationships carrying their usual pile of unhealed baggage. They search for a partner by seeing if the other person’s pile of unhealed baggage is compatible with theirs. For about 100% of people, including love/relationship coaches and the spiritual, a relationship is two piles of baggage fitting together.
Jordan retweeted
When a man is good to a woman, it’s easy for her to be good to him back. What happens when he stops being good to her—does she stop being good to him back? Or is she essentially the SAME LOVING PERSON—unchanged, consistent, and incorruptible—regardless of what he does and doesn’t do? This right here separates the healed from the unhealed. A woman’s behavior when he isn’t good to her tells us her character and degree of health. The inverse is true—a man’s behavior when she isn’t good to him tells us his character and degree of health.
Jordan retweeted
1. Honesty = direct. I don’t think the Japanese can rewrite the definition of either word here.
2. Direct ≠ laziness. Directness eliminates confusion so that the other person doesn’t have to decipher meaning. This is the opposite of lazy. This is doing them a favor.
3. Truth ≠ dumping. Dumping means verbal vomiting. Truth can be said in one sentence. One word, even.
4. If you are shaping the truth, is it still truth?
5. If the other person is “bleeding” from your words, this is not honesty. This is cruelty.
6. If anyone can say heavy things, that means humans were meant to tell the truth. If you need an entire culture STOPPING people from being direct and honest, that means the culture is going against human nature.
7. Carrying the burden = respect? This is literally saying pain and suffering are noble.
nitter.gq/japan_nobunaga/status/…
Americans say "I'm just being honest."
In Japan, that sentence is a confession.
Being direct is not honesty. It is laziness. It means you could not be bothered to find the words that land, so you threw the raw ones and made the other person carry the weight.
You call it telling the truth. We call it dumping.
Real honesty is work. It means shaping the truth so the other person can hold it without bleeding.
Anyone can say the heavy thing. That is why we do not respect it.
The respect goes to the person who carries it first.
Jordan retweeted
This account here has a realistic view of relationships prior to real healing. If two people aren’t truly healing, then they could shoot for something like this—this post and all the other recent posts. Not everyone is going to choose true healing so if they don’t, the relationship model described by this account could be workable. It’s not real healing but it is workable, and as mentioned, it is realistic.
The relationship itself does not take work. What takes work is the real healing that must take place within each person. Keep in mind that changing your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and actions isn’t real healing. That is people managing their lack of real healing. Real healing means permanent cure, once and for all, and all conflicts gone.
One person should be significantly further along with real healing than the other so that they’re not constantly triggered by each other. One triggered person is enough. Two triggered people is often a disaster, and if not a disaster, it is unpleasant, abrasive, stressful, difficult, and too much work and drama that could have been avoided if one person was truly healing.
a healthy relationship doesn’t require two people who have somehow healed every wound from their past. it requires two people who are self-aware enough to understand their wounds, recognize the patterns they’ve carried forward, and take responsibility for how those patterns affect the relationship. when you choose someone, you’re choosing their history too. that means learning how to hold each other’s difficult parts with compassion while still encouraging growth. helping each other become lighter isn’t codependency. there’s a difference between carrying someone and loving them while they learn how to carry themselves.
Jordan retweeted
I would say Earth is just a place and if meaning is assigned as to why a person came here—that would be that person’s personal opinion during that particular moment derived from that particular personality/point of view. And as you know, opinions change based on mood.
Is there a reason for incarnation—I wouldn’t say there is any particular reason. True healing shows there are no reasons. Life lessons dissolve in true healing to the point that nothing ever happened except for the design to be fixed. For life lessons to be a purpose, it would have to remain fixed in place, as in, unhealable.
If we take Microsoft Windows—the system itself is vulnerable and easily corruptible. It collects all types of viruses, malware, attacks. The “lesson” for Windows is to endure them or to undergo the process of getting rid of them. It means the lesson is tied to the root cause of bad design.
True healing means all that stuff is gone and the vulnerability itself is gone. Windows stops being Windows. It becomes incorruptible. So in this example, we could say the purpose of incarnation is for each person to fix their own design. Is there anything to learn—no, because even the mental associations of fixing anything is gone.
We also can’t say the purpose of life is to fix bad design because it’s not a problem unless we are dwelling inside a body. It would be like saying there are termites eating the foundation of a house but unless we live in that house, it is not a problem to us.
It is difficult to describe in words. It just has to be experienced and for anyone learning true healing, these fundamental shifts are a regular occurrence.
Jordan retweeted
What does it take to choose true healing? 3 things:
1. You face your reality—100% of it
2. You are sick of being sick
3. Real, lasting, actual, and permanent success, plus achieving the completion of healing forevermore is your desired outcome
If you don’t choose #1, what happens—you only face minor realities and opt to not heal the rest.
If you don’t choose #2, what happens—you continue to tolerate pain and suffering.
If you don’t choose #3, what happens—you choose spirituality, therapy, or commercial healing methods that do not work—so that you can, deep down, fail on purpose—in order to remain a victim and always claim to be a work–in–progress. That means see #2—you are not sick of being sick yet.
Jordan retweeted
When I demonstrate and explain real healing to my students by way of systems, analogies, and examples, I always tell them that the information is Not Fact. It is critical that this is impressed upon them. This, I realize, goes against how spiritual people teach. They teach that their intuition is fact. I only go by what can be captured as energy data. I also go by actual results and success. This causes people who believe in theory to argue with me, who teaches from real life successful results.
Why do I tell students that the systems, analogies, and examples are Not Fact—because that is the fact. To be a responsible educator, the education must be clean. Spirituality is not clean. It is merely myth passed from one believer to the next who each adds their own personal opinions, fantasies, and embellishments.
To say that a person only incarnates 40% of their energy into their body and the rest is their higher self—where is the documentation that supports this? If I were to teach this measurement to my students, I would emphasize: THIS IS NOT FACT, but however, seeing things this way would help you or not help you succeed with real healing.
This is how I teach.
Jordan retweeted
People don’t do any real healing yet expect their romantic partners to be healed. If a person is truly healing, they never expect the same from another. Why, because they know what it truly takes. They are consumed by what it takes and understand that real healing is not for most people. It is like an Olympic–level athlete who doesn’t expect his/her entire family and friend group to also be Olympic athletes or even hobbyists. And truly healing is athletic.
If you don’t do any real healing, you cannot expect your romantic partner to better than what and where you are.