I make dad jokes on Twitter and bootleg action figures on Instagram: @ SirCollectALot.

Boston
Joined February 2009
Why do they call it a eulogy and not thanks for coming to my dead talk?
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Miles McAlpin retweeted
we showed the guys their action figures 👀

bid now on these custom, autographed one-of-one Magic figures with all proceeds benefiting Orlando Magic Youth Foundation 🪄

→ Magic.givesmart.com
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I’M DRINKING MOUNTAIN DEW FLAVORS YOU CAN’T PRONOUNCE IN PLACES YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF – at Thermopolis, WY
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The bettor.
🚨BREAKING: Someone put $11,600 on Lamine Yamal NOT to score vs Austria This pays out $20,000.00 on Polymarket
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Get the transition glasses at @WarbyParker they said.
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Wemby looks like he’s never played basketball before. They’ll write books about these collapses.
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Texas needs to secede if Spurs lose this.
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“Now give Knicks fans an ounce of hope and then really break their hearts.”
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CRY LOUDER, KNICKS FANS 😂
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“One glass of Knicks fans’ tears please.”
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How small does your dick have to be to park like this?
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New shirts just dropped. All sizes, $35 shipped. 🤙
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The Cavs might stink, folks.
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The chat on this illegal stream for the game is out of pocket.
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Miles McAlpin retweeted
Replying to @JMilesM
Hope you’ve found wipes
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“Hey, Siri - play Flake by Jack Johnson.”
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“He just quit is corporate job to sell action figures he makes in his basement. Now have his wife tell him she’s pregnant when he walks in the door.”
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I’ve found god.
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Going to invent a new kind of fart tonight.
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Summer outfit sorted.
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